How to tackle the teenagers?
Parenting is an art, a living skill. It is the world’s most joyfull, enjoyable job, though some times very challenging. It is an activity of nourshing children with love, care, affection, discipline and with emotions.
All parents want, what is best for their children, whether they are a month old or sixteen year old, we want them to have the best that we can possibly offer. When they are small, it is relatively easy to handle, than teenagers. It is a different kind of challenge.Therefore, we encourage parents to take care of themselves so they have the parental strength to continue to guide their teenagers during these challenging years.
Adolescence is a stage, charecterised by number of cognitive, emotional, physical and attitudinal changes, which play a very important role in their personality development.They are change in 5 ways- physicaly, emotionally, socially, intellectually, and spritually. For the first time in their lives adolescents may start to view their friends, their peer group, as more important and influential than their parents. The thoughts, ideas and concepts developed at this stage have great impact on one’s future life. Their behaviour are mainly associated with changes in mood, they show too much flexible behaviour due to harmonal instability.
The world is changing day by day and teenagers are also different today from our days. Society and culture are different, nowadays nuclear families are more popular than the joint family. Both parents are working, consequently they are more stressed out and issolated than in past generation. In such a situation, they do not have the time to take care of their own emotional needs. The heart of successful parenting of a teenager is the relationship that we form with them, a relationship of mutal respect, love, understanding and providing support.Who have a good parent-teen relationship, are less likely to be involved in various malpractices such as drinking, smoking, gambling, or fighting.
Teens are energetic, thoughtful, and idealistic, with a deep interest in what’s fair and right. So, although it can be a period of conflict between parent and teen, the teen years are also a time to help kids grow in to the distinct individual they will become.
Situations are not always same, when a child becomes an adolescent, some changes in parents behaviour is necessary, because he or she is in growing stage and his behavioural pattern, his ideas, his thoughts and aspirations also gets changed. In this situation, a better understanding is required, so that the parent-child relation remains good.
Dealing With Teenagers
We should try to spend more time together. Although, it is too difficult to plan quality time with teen because their moods are unpredictable.
Give them space. Don’t ask a lot of questions about school or friends. To help your teen become a young adult, grant some privacy. If you notice warning signs of trouble, then you can invade your child’s privacy. Of course, for safety reasons, you should always know where teens are going, what they are doing, but you don’t need to know everything in detail.
We should take meal togeather atleast one’s in a day. Where you spend time and communicate with them.
Learn to listen not to what they tell you but what they are trying to tell you.
Always have time for them to find out their problems. They feel respected when you listen to them, take them seriously and treat them with dignity as another adult.
The teen years often are a time of experimentation. It includes risky behaviours. Don’t avoid the subject of sex, or drugs, smoking, alcohal, and tobacco use, discussing these things openly with kids before they are exposed to it.
Do not compare them with others siblings, cousins, classmates, or other teenagers. Always say directly not by comparision because comparision don’t motivate, instead they often get discouraged. Comparision are rude and are damaging to a teenagers self-esteem.
An important parental task is to teach our children to be responsible people. They must be taught to believe in their abilities and to believe in themselves.
Always be attentive to their needs and concerns, it result’s in children having a higher self esteem and positive outlook for their ups and downs.
Don’t criticise them because parent’s negative comments often discourage, frustrate and make them arrogant or even egoish instead of improvements.
When they do some thing good, constrctive and positive bring attention to it, some appreciative comments like-good job, congratulations, we trust you or I believe in you, makes your teen feel good.
The atmosphere of the house should always be democratic, where both are equal and treated with same dignity and respect. But this does not mean that all duties are yours and rights of the child. Also the parents should not be either very authoritative or permissive. A balance should be maintained.
From recent studies, it’s become proved that demanding as well as responsive parents show more marurity to tackle with them, but at the same time these expectations should not become a burden, leaving no space for self, underestimating his own desires and dreams. Teens will likely unhappy with over expectations. If parents have appropriate expectaion teens will likely try to meet them.
Today it is most important to be truthful with teenagers about sex, marriage etc., we should not dodge the issue, give a straight answer. We should talk with them and give knowledge about HIV, sexually transmitted diseases and pregnency etc. Give your child books on puberty written for kids going through it share memories of your own.
Regular communicate betwen your teen’s friend and his or her parents, it can go a long way toward creating a safe environment.
Every person is unique, so tackle them as a friend, philospher and guide. But these symptoms like- rapid, drasstic chang in personality, falling school performance, talk or even jokes about sucide, sleep problem occur. Then you should concern to a psychologist, counselor or psychiatrist.
As child progress through the teen years, you will notice a slowing of the highs and lows of adolescence. And eventually, they will become independent, responsible, communicative young adults. The passage from childhood to adulthood is challenging, confusing and exciting, so always be attentive.
Parenting is like gardening. By cultivating the soil of your relationship with your teenager- by adding nutrients of love and care, pruning of a structured environment, and the sunlight of a positve role model- you will experience a fruitful harvest.
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