Family Psychology. A dance for two. – … This is a long-forgotten concept – “a bond”.
– Exactly … To me you are still just a little boy, exactly the same as a hundred thousand other little boys. And I’ve not needed. And I’m – too. I’m for you all just Fox, is exactly the same as a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, we’ll need each other. You’ll be the one for me in the whole world. And I’ll be for you one in the whole world.
“Little Prince”. Antoine de Saint-Exupery.
Every morning, waking up, we learn to live together, to educate the child, respect each other. We are learning to dance through life … We stumble, fall, get angry at each other for unharmonized action, laughing, fooling around. And each time the start this dance again, honing skills. You get me back to childhood, where there are no systems, no stereotypes, no poses. I catch your rhythm, you – my …
A louder ringtone, silencing voices advisers: tesch in-law, brother-in-law and daughters, friends and good friends. “Do not do this”, “Do not go there”, “Behave differently. Where you and I have no place outside advice. Dance – case two. Listening to advice of outsiders, we risk to lose, lose the rhythm. And if that happens, the blame will not they, well-wishers, generously handing out recommendations, and we agreed to listen to these recommendations instead of ringing in our family.
Nobody better than you do not know how to lead me, no one better than me not be able to meet you. Our family life – is regular exercise. Synchronous movements – the path to perfection. This is a dance, but do not fight for the championship, leadership. This humility, pliability, but not pride, not knowing the steps.
I remember the story of some women, overheard by me at the bus stop:
– I’m her husband’s pyre, and suddenly comes up to me an Uzbek, and says: “My husband should love, pity, talk to him respectfully. Listen to him, but if somewhere is not right – to direct. Well, fool! That would be me with an adult guy wear. I have, and so full of trouble!
From the depths of memory, as if he heard this conversation, smiled, Agatha Christie, for the umpteenth time repeating:
“Wife’s duty – to be near her husband. My husband should always come first, even ahead of the children. “
Recalling the origins of our love, our family, we again and again experiencing the successes and learn from mistakes. Next to each other we gain trust of children two years: in this age we are not poisoned by formulaic “all change”, “Life oppresses” … In this dance is impossible to enter with disbelief – or not support will be: I would not jump on to your hands, afraid that he dropped, I would not trust myself to you, fearing that’ll get.
Dance of family life comprehensive, all-consuming. Remembering the words of Faina Ranevskaya: “Family – it is very serious family man replaces all. Therefore, before starting a family, you must like to think that the more important to you: All or family. Often, we choose a partner to dance, life blindly, go, run. When will gain a deep love, understand, there are no bad or good partners, is incompatibility: habits, character, attitudes – and the unwillingness to work on relationships.
Family – the work of two. In an effort, listening, feeling, over time, he and she ceases to stumble, their dance becomes a rapid, light and airy.
The secret of each pair of its own. “Entering into a marriage, you must choose a partner to your human terms and yet you need to talk about everything: that does not like that much. Then there will be mutual understanding. Then there will be happiness “, – told me one academician, a former Soviet ambassador to France Yuri Ryzhov.
And the secret of freedom … freedom from fear, attitudes, doubts, suspicions.
“Do not smoke – sick! Do not eat many sweets – whether diabetes or obesity! No horseback riding – you’ll fall. ” How often, to preserve a loved one from adversity, we guard it from life, what makes us happy.
Yes, during the dance can break a leg, but thinking about it, we never learn to dance, not a feeling of flight, do not realize that he and she are not related stamp, no children, no money and commitment, and pleasure from the process of life, family, exercise, dance, from what is happening at the moment and is called Love.