Narcissistic Love: The Madonna/whore Complex

According to Sigmund Freud, many narcissists suffer from a psychological complex which renders them incapable of combining love and sex to form a ‘normal’ relationship with any one person.  Love and sex are immensely separate entities and can only be experienced with two (or more) people.  The culprit, according to Freud, is known as the Madonna/Whore Complex.

The Madonna

Quite often a man with the Madonna/Whore Complex was either raised without a mother or by a distant mother.  The woman that this type of man loves is a replacement for his mother. The Madonna is the woman that he loves, she is considered clean, pure and saintly.  With those perceived traits, she cannot be made ‘dirty’ with the act of sex.  The term ‘make love’ is not in his vocabulary; that implies a combination of love and sex.

The Whore

Men with the Madonna/Whore Complex usually avail themselves of the services of prostitutes.  These women, according to the narcissistic male, are already dirty and sullied.  Therefore, they cannot and will not be loved by him.  They merely meet his sexual desires.  The meetings with prostitutes have absolutely no effect on the love of the Madonna figure.

The Ultimate Love

A narcissistic male with the Madonna/Whore complex has only one true love; himself.  His greatest pleasure is to combine love and sex, once again, with himself.  The narcissitc male with this unfortunate complex, does not acknowledge the existance, needs or desires of anyone involved in his life.

To Sum It Up

As you can see, these are not the actions or thoughts of an emotionally healthy male nor do they make for a mutually loving relationship.

If you are in a relationship with someone, and your lovemaking has become lukewarm at best and infrequent and he shows other signs of narcissism, then you might want to get your GPS and find the quickest way out of there.  It is highly unlikely this behaviour will change.  Narcissists see themselves as perfect, therefore no change is necessary.

If you think this article is about you, then as Carly Simon said “You’re So Vain”, and you are the narcissist with the Madonna/Whore complex.

 

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