By JOHN SAKALA
In 1778, Robert Barron patented a double-acting, lever-tumbler lock that remains the basis of the modern key lock. His design called for the use of a single key capable of raising the lock’s two tumblers together. Similarly, a successful marriage depends on a husband and wife working together in unison. To unlock and experience the precious joys of a good marriage, one essential is communication.
Communication involves the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs. It therefore involves a sharing of sentiments and ideas. Communication then entails things that are up building, refreshing, virtuous, praiseworthy, and consoling.
It is made possible by confidence, trust, and mutual understanding. These qualities result when marriage is viewed as a lifelong relationship and there is genuine commitment to make it work.
Remember the two of you have chosen each other out of all the species, with the design to be each other’s mutual comfort and entertainment, have, in that action, bound you to be good-humored, affable, discreet, forgiving, patient, and joyful, with respect to each other’s frailties and perfections, to the end of your lives.
Yet a real obstacle to communication can be fear of how a marriage mate would react to certain information or expressed desire. Resentment is another obstacle to communication. It is fittingly said that a happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
A definite obstacle to any kind of communication is the silent treatment. This may involve glum expressions, heavy sighs, robot like actions, and a one-sided embargo on speech.
A marriage mate who acts in this way is communicating some form of displeasure. But vocalising personal feelings in a frank and winning manner does much more to improve a marriage than does remaining silent and sullen.
Just as there is a right time to speak, however, there is a time to keep quiet. So determine when it is the best time to make your point or to express your heart’s concern.
It is good to remember that people react best when they can see how cooperating or complying with a request would benefit them.
Remember communication is the lifeline of every successful marriage.