So much like Raw on Monday TNA opened with footage recapping what had been happening with Ric Flair’s Fourtune.
Dixie Carter and Eric Bischoff were then shown having a little pow wow with Dixie convincing Eric that she should handle whatever announcement she was going to make all by her lonesome self. Dixie then came out to the ring and called out Ric Flair. Flair asked her to go back to his hotel room so they could settle their differences like mature adults, she informed him that he would be suspended 90 days without pay for all the mayhem he’d caused in the previous weeks. Flair then called out his other members of Fourtune and they proceeded to intimidate, or at least attempt to intimidate Dixie until her husband came running into the ring. Um, ok, this was a bit silly. At first I thought it was a fan because as soon as he entered the ring a couple members of fourtune were on top of him and holding him down in the ring. Mike Tenay quickly announced that it was her husband. They had just started to beat on him when Hulk Hogan’s music came on and he came out with Kurt Angle, Mr. Anderson, The Pope and Jeff Hardy. Hogan then advised Flair that he was overriding the decision to suspend Flair because that would be going too easy on him. Personally, I think the part where they weren’t going to pay him is the part he would hate the most. Flair then indicated he and his group would be taking the company over but not tonight. Hogan then asked a very common sense question, why not tonight? And Flair responded with a very simple answer, because he’s not ready tonight. It’s rare that wrestlers are so candid. So Hogan made a 8 man tag match. The four wrestlers that followed Hogan out against four of Flair’s guys. Not beer money though because they’re already in a match. Will this be yet another week where the TV title won’t be defended? Do they even remember making that change?
Just as it seemed we were going to commercial EV2 ran out with t-shirts on that are just a little too similar to the old NWO t-shirts. Would this be an appropriate moment to say OMG? They then started to fight with the members of Fourtune and then they actually went to commercial. It was a poor choice to not show how that fight ended during the commercial but that’s what they did.
They then showed Kurt Angle giving his teammates a motivational speech. What is there about an 8 man tag match that is supposed to be this big punishment? Just saying its one isn’t selling it for me.
Next Orlando Jordan came out and sexually harassed (maybe molested is a better word) So-Cal Val. Then Samoa Joe came out and their match started. Easy prediction to make, Samoa Joe. But maybe TNA will surprise me.
Small digression here while the match goes on. During Flair’s promo he announed that Fourtune was the “They” that Abyss had been talking about for weeks. I just thought he was bragging and being facestious. But now the announcers Tenay and Tazz are actually indicating to us the viewer that we are to take this claim seriously. What??!! If this is the case I have to admit I am very let down. There better be a better “They” coming or a better twist to this story than that. Ok, digression done for the time being.
Samoa Joe won with a muscle buster. Not exactly surprising. However, his match celebration was interupted by Jeff Jarrett for some reason. His music came on and Jeff came out with all his gear on but before Jeff spoke… commercial break. Afterwards it was back to Jeff talking directly to Joe After kissing Joe’s butt for a couple minutes he asked Joe to be in his corner while he wrestled Kevin Nash later in the evening. Jeff continued to blow some smoke and it appears as though Joe is buying what Jeff is selling. Basically, Jeff wants Joe to make sure Sting doesn’t interfere. But Joe said no surprisingly. Before Joe could make his way to the back Nash’s music came on and their match just started right then and there.
Nash versus Jarrett? I’m going with Nash on this one. No particular reason, just a guess. If i have a criticism of this storyline its that I just don’t understand it. Jeff believes that Nash is upset that Nash isn’t top dog anymore. Nash is trying to indicate its more than that but never gets to really explain what that “more” is. Nash removed one of the top turnbuckles but ended up being shoved gut first into it himself. Apparently, Tazz agrees with me on the stance that there is more to this storyline than we’re being told. Jarrett, did get tossed into that exposed turnbuckle, then he was choke slammed and surprisingly he kicked out of a pin after a 2 count. The exposed turnbuckle once again came into play but it was the referee who ate it. Then Jarrett used Nash’s head on the corner. Went to pin him but the referee was knocked out. Sting then came out wearing red face paint. OK, this isn’t a complaint about the face paint, I like it. But why was it red one week, white the week after that and now we’re back to red? If TNA has a flaw that near anyone can point out its lack of consistency. Sting then beat on Jarrett with his bat a little and then Nash picked up the win after the ref woke up.
Just as it appeared Sting was going to beat up on Jarrett some more, Hogan’s music came on but it was Bischoff that came out and started talking trash on Sting. Sting then asked to have Hogan out specifically instead of Bischoff. Meanwhile, Sting is choking Jarrett with his bat and Bischoff is still taking a moment to talk some trash. But that was because Hogan snuck into the ring behind Sting and hit him with a chair. Then Hogan’s music played again and we went to commercial. So once again, a storyline with a mystery plot continues. I’m not a fan of this approach.
Backstage footage of Hogan asking Tommy Dreamer to not interfere in the 8 man tag match later but asked him to deal with Abyss on a permanent level. Tommy agreed to both terms.
Beer Money’s match was next against a the FBI (Full Blooded Italians). I didn’t even know it was the FBI in the ring until the Tazz and Tenay said so. Based on that neglect alone I predict a win by Beer Money. Beer Money annihilated the FBI both during and after the match. A great way to show the dominance of Beer Money as a team especially after their loss to the machine guns but its going to be difficult for people to take the FBI and EV2 seriously if its members are acting as jobbers.
Angelina, Velvet and their huge jubblies are back together again. I’m actually a big fan of this. I don’t like Angelina as a babyface so I hope this leads her back to heel status eventually. They’d be good as kind of duo that acted like the Rock. They don’t have to not be nasty to get the fans to like them. Their T-shirts sold very well even when they were heels. Rather than going directly to those two after commercial though they showed some backstage footage of Tommy Dreamer asking EV2 to take down Abyss and Stevie Richards apparently loves the idea. I sure hope Abyss isn’t watching this footage or else they’re plan won’t work. (that was me being tired of back stage segments)
I was glad to hear and see the traditional Beautiful People entrance with Angelina and Velvet. These two are great together. Like peanut butter and jelly. Angelina started the promo off and I have to say she is great with a mic. But she asked Velvet to forgive and forget their previous problems. Velvet agreed and indicated that they should take care of Madison Rayne and then dominate the knockouts division. If there was a knockouts division I would have enjoyed this promo a bit more than I did. But since there isn’t a knockouts division so much anymore it makes it hard to care.
The Beautiful People music came back. Common sense problem. It seemed as though their promo was over, why would they be surprised that their music came on? They and the announcers made it seem like this was unusual so I knew Madison was due to come out. But it took a good 10 seconds before we figured out where she was coming from and in that time why would we think anything other than the promo was over? But Madison did come out riding the motorcycle behind the Mystery Cyclist (from now on referred to as MC until we know who she is)
Are they going to feud over the music and Beautiful People (from now on referred to as BP) brand? I could be happy with that storyline. MC took her helmut off but was still wearing a mask. Madison grabbed a mic and ran her mouth a bit and indicated that she was upset that Angelina and Velvet should was using the BP music and brand. Excellent way to take this story. She then ran her mouth some more about breast implants and botox injections. After saying that Velvet was Madison’s bitch Velvet attacked Madison and then they all started fighting until security got involved.
They then cut to a backstage interview/promo with the Machine guns. They were playing the video game Rock Band. The thing I like most about the machine guns is their ability to use petty insults and sound kind of cool while they do it.
For some reason when the commercial was over we got to watch Desmond Wolfe and Chelsea outside messing with an umbrella in the rain following Brutus Magnus to get new clothes. They went into a mall and Magnus was bragging about how his credit card has no limit and Chelsea took it and snuck off. I already hate this storyline. First, lets ask why a camera man would follow wrestlers shopping? Second, can we ask, are we to believe that Magnus was so stupid as to let her just take that credit card and wander off? I realize that this is wrestling and we all know the storylines are written, I get that. But can we at least pretend the writers aren’t aware that we know this? I want to be able to suspend my disbelief. I feel its their job to make sure that its easy for me to do this.
I expect good things from the Generation Me versus Machine Guns match. If this is a title match its a MG win. If its nontitle I expect a GM win. Ok, Tazz indicated its a nontitle match. Well, this has been a wonderful match so far. Lots of fast action and incredibly bizarre moves. GM performed a beautiful moonsault off the top rope to the outside. Not only do these guys know how to do amazing moves they all know how to do them so as to put on the best show. But I was dead wrong on the winner of this match. The Machine Guns picked up the win and it was a great match in the process. Check it out if you get the chance. The Machine Guns took a moment shake the hands of Generation Me and that’s the kind of wrestling i like to watch. Then commercial.
Weird twist. When the commercial was over Flair was backstage running his mouth like he was having a heart attack at the same time but he was interupted by Sting putting his bat against Flair’s throat. Sting told him that Flair and Fourtune would be next on his and Nash’s agenda once they took care of the big problem in TNA.
I don’t know what “Shore” is but there was a weird video clip I didn’t understand promoting it.
They took a moment to promote the No Surrender PPV coming up and when it was over Tenay acted like he was being told there was something going on back stage and then we cut to Stevie Richards beating up on Abyss. That lasted about a minute until Abyss reversed things. Once again Abyss acted like he was going to hit Stevie with that stupid 2 x 4 with nails in it and of course missed. Not a surprise in the least. Stevie got the upper hand again. The backstage fighting wasn’t exactly what one would refer to as graceful. Abyss got the upper hand again and while beating up on Stevie talked a little trash on RVD and EV2 and then we went to commercial.
After commercial we catch Rhyno getting into the ring and calling out Abyss. I’ve never liked Rhyno. He’s just a suped up jobber to me. Abyss came out with that stupid 2 x 4 but Rhyno attached Abyss outside the ring and was going to Gor Abyss but Abyss kicked him in the face instead. Abyss then had the upper hand and fought to the spanish broadcast table. Rhyno got the upper hand for a moment and then nailed the Gor move. Rhyno apparently hurt one of his legs but he took off after.
AJ Styles had a good backstage promo about how he built the TNA house. AJ gets better and better with every promo. And finally, the main event started. Or at least the entrances started. Ok, after about 5 minutes of entrances the match started (after another commercial of course.)
Eight man tag matches are pretty boring to me (however I like elimination matches) so don’t expect me to do a play by play. I will predict a win for the babyfaces just for the hell of it. Flair spent some time interfering in the match. Pope got a blind tag off of Kurt Angle and then the Pope got the pin. Angle was upset that the Pope essentially stole the win from him but before their feud could really build up Fourtune started beating up on everyone. Beer Money even came out to help. Then EV2 came out to help. Sabu looks weird with a bald head. While mayhem was ensuing the show ended. And then TNA reaction started continuing where Impact left off. EV2 took Fourtune out of it and Angle and Pope got in each other’s faces again. They were split up by Anderson and Hardy though. Then the EV2 and Fourtune fight got restarted with security trying to break it up.
If they want Impact to just be 3 hours they should just make it 3 hours. I’m not a fan of this reaction thing where Tazz and Tenay get to curse but be censored. I liked the show this week but over all I was disappointed by a few decisions they made. As always I am hopeful that TNA will correct the mistakes they make but perhaps its just false hope.
I guess I’ll start ranking these shows out of 10. 6 out of 10 for this episode and it probably would have been a 4 if not for the awesome Machine Guns match.