The most important step is to study your date. This will reveal many useful things, including the truth whether this person is your type or not in the first place. Thanks to the study you made on your partner, now you know how to approach a conversation of interest. Is he/she humorous? serious? or more of the platonic type? depending on the answer implied by the behavior, this will be your chance to hit it big and make your conversations useful.
Now that you’re ready for a conversation, start off easy; you do not want to step on unknown territory. Ask her the usual questions, such as what he/she does for a living, how long has the person been living in this town or state, is the he/she studying, and so on. These are just some commonly asked questions that will surely break the ice between you two. Ask away and relax. While making conversation, actually LISTEN to what the person has to say. This, of course, will allow you to give an intelligent response, rather than simply replying “Oh yeah? that’s nice.”
As stated above, people typically love an intelligent individual. Believe it or not, the level of intelligence in a conversation potentially has the same weight as the level of physical attraction; it all depends on how smooth the situation goes. Make it worthwile. Make use of small talk, both relevant and irrelevant to the situation. This will give you a big hint on what interests your date and what turns him/her off. Also, be aware of your surroundings. Do you see your partner carrying anything related to baseball? Bingo – There is your chance to ask who her favorite team or player is.
If there is nothing physically present (such as that baseball-related material) it is time to read between the lines. You have to really get to know your date in order to mutually connect. Analyze both her verbal conversations as well as her body language. Avoid sensitive subjects, unless he/she insists on simply letting some things out of the system. It’s always okay to ask questions about their parents, for example, but if your partner replies with a long face and a short answer, (either because loved ones have passed away, or do not get along) leave the conversation as it is.
No matter how serious someone may seem to be, humor is always appreciated in a crowd. Keep breaking the ice by making your partner remember you in a very positive way! Whether he/she finds interests in your intelligence, sweetness, or humor, your date will definitely love spending the rest of the day with you. Keep the conversation light. It is not a good sign to get overly serious on that first date by saying anything that might freak him/her out. Let’s face it, you do not know each other very well, so avoid strong words or feelings until the time is right.
If things are looking positive and you notice your partner gives you the green light to approach more personal conversations, think of things that will better reveal your date, without actually crossing the line. Some of these questions may include:
– Ask what type of people are of most interest, both physically and otherwise
– When the person’s last relationship was, and if possible, where did it go wrong?
– Is the person usually the one getting dumped? or the one calling the shots?
These are simply some questions to help each other open up a little more, once the green light has been given.
Be yourself! Remember you’re both in the same situation; you do not know each other and you both are in need of a break. This is why you’re out on a date, correct? Confidence is something everyone notices, and in the end it can send a powerful message of who you really are.
Do not forget to ask about your partner’s hobbies and interests. Ask if he/she likes to travel, for instance. This will uncover yet many more questions such as “what is the one place you wish to visit someday?”. Ask your partner about dreams and goals; this will let her know how open minded you really are.