The only thing we know for sure is that everything we have tried in the past hasn’t worked!
Sometimes families simply need the unbiased observations of an individual who is on the outside looking in. When we are caught up in the problem it can be difficult to see the bigger picture, let alone a solution. A neutral third party with no emotions invested is better able to take a look at all sides.
When people are having problems it can be even harder than usual to communicate effectively. With emotions running high it is far too easy to take offense, say something that you did not mean or have one person clam up. A counselor can mediate the discussion, steering it down a more productive path.
Counselors have been trained how to handle disagreements. They can provide us with tools needed to better communicate our feelings in a positive manner. They are also sometimes able to help us understand what our partner is feeling, and ways we can deal with it.
Some individuals find it easier to tell their mate what is bothering them when in the “safe zone” of a counselor’s office. They might speak more freely and be better at listening to your complaints without becoming defensive. Thus, your point of view will actually be heard and discussions can follow.
The most common problem in marriages is the lack of or mis communication. When we are unable or unwilling to discuss problems with our spouse, trouble is sure to follow. In order to fix problems we have to know that they exist and what they are. Counseling is a very effective way to go about that.
In a perfect world none of us would need to seek therapy in dealing with our issues. But the world is an imperfect place. With divorce rates growing steadily, we must take advantage of every available tool that might aid us in saving our marriage.
There should be no feelings of embarrassment about reaching out to get help through counseling. The only reasons for feelings of shame would be in not asking for help when we know that it is needed.