What’s That Smell?
We all pass gas. I know there is a group of uppity people who are in denial. Trust me you fart. We may not hear it, but we can smell it. I’m a man, so that makes me an expert. Don’t know why, but men are farting experts. Unlike my fellow “gassers” I’m aware of my environment when farting. Near an open flame is a real bad place to pass gas. Being an expert, I’ve decided to share my knowledge with the world. We begin with political ways to say fart.
A Message From Below Apocalypse,
Blowing Ye Butt
Cutting the Cheese
Disappointments From Down Under
Dropped a Shoe
Floating an air biscuit
Nature’s little surprises
Nature’s musical box
Ooh, that’s a nasty cough
Oops! I let Fluffy off the leash
Ripping the seat
Speak To Me ol ‘Toothless One
The Great Brown Cloud
Thunder from Down Under
Waiting to Exhale
So now you are wondering what kind of people fart. Like I said, I’m an expert.
The vain person is the one who loves his own farts. The amiable person is the one who loves other people’s farts. The proud person believes his farts are top of the line. The shy person does the silent farts and blushes. The impudent person farts loudly and laughs out loud. The unfortunate person wants to fart, but poops instead. The dishonest person will fart and blame the dog. The thrifty person will do many farts in succession. Never one fart with him. The sadistic person will fart in bed, then pull the covers over his bed mates head. Last is the intellectual person who can guess what you had to eat by the smell.
That’s all for now. I do have more fart knowledge to pass around at a later date.Keep sniffing and you’ll get a whiff of my next fart post.