Creative Ways To Inform The World You Farted

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What’s That Smell?

                                                                                                 

We all pass gas. I know there is a group of uppity people who are in denial. Trust me you fart. We may not hear it, but we can smell it. I’m a man, so that makes me an expert. Don’t know why, but men are farting experts. Unlike my fellow “gassers” I’m aware of my environment when farting. Near an open flame is a real bad place to pass gas. Being an expert, I’ve decided to share my knowledge with the world. We begin with political ways to say fart.

A Message From Below Apocalypse, 

Now Barked

Barking Spider                                               

Bathtub Jacuzzi

Bench Burning

Bench Warmer

Biological Warfare

Blast Blow-Holes

Blowing Ye Butt

Bottom Belch

Breaking Loose

Brown-Speak

Bucksnort

Butt Babble

Butt Chuckling

Butt Thunder

Colon-Speak

Crack Splitters

Creaky Floorboards

Cutting the Cheese

Disappointments From Down Under

Draw Mud,

Dropped a Shoe

Elevator Evacuation

 Floating an air biscuit

Fragrantly Impaired

Gassius Assius

Gastronomically Expressive

Gravy pants

Gusty Windflap

Gut Bubble

Happy Honkers

 Methane Exit

My Opinion

Nature’s little surprises 

Nature’s musical box

Obnoxious Coughing

Odiferous Objection

Ooh, that’s a nasty cough

Oops! I let Fluffy off the leash

Paint-Peeling Predicament

Panty Burps

Rancid Reaction

Revolting Release

Ripping the seat

 Smelly Snoring

Speak To Me ol ‘Toothless One

The Great Brown Cloud

Thunder from Down Under

Trouser Cough

Trouser Rippers

Unappreciated Ai

Vulgar Vapor

Waiting to Exhale

So now you are wondering what kind of people fart. Like I said, I’m an expert.

The vain person is the one who loves his own farts. The amiable person is the one who loves other people’s farts. The proud person believes his farts are top of the line. The shy person does the silent farts and blushes. The impudent person farts loudly and laughs out loud. The unfortunate person wants to fart, but poops instead. The dishonest person will fart and blame the dog. The thrifty person will do many farts in succession. Never one fart with him. The sadistic person will fart in bed, then pull the covers over his bed mates head. Last is the intellectual person who can guess what you had to eat by the smell.

That’s all for now. I do have more fart knowledge to pass around at a later date.Keep sniffing and you’ll get a whiff of my next fart post.

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