How to Avoid Marriage

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      Consider why you want to avoid marriage.   Before deciding against marriage, audit your rationale for avoiding it.  Are you avoiding it because of someone else’s experience?  Are you avoiding it because you have preconceived notions about a man or woman’s behavior after marriage? Are you avoiding it because you think you are ill equipped mentally?  Is it that you’ve not met the person you can imagine marrying?  Is it simply that you don’t think you’re ready?

     Based on your rationale, develop your strategy, and implement.  Once you understand your rationale, you can develop a strategy for avoiding marriage.  If your rationale is related to your mental state (marriage averse), it is better that you share this information with anyone whom you intend to have more than a casual relationship.  If your rationale is related to the man or woman’s physical characteristics or timing, share this information in a mature way.  Explain the type of characteristics you think you prefer (without offending).  Recognize that we all have preferences; for example, some think they only want men or women in a certain weight category.  If your rationale is related to timing, talk about the timing; for example, you might be waiting to get your finances in order, waiting to complete something, or waiting until you reach a certain age.

     Be prepared to exit the relationship.  If your strategy fails, don’t pretend that you want marriage to maintain the relationship.  Exit the relationship to allow the other person to seek someone who wants marriage.  This can be a very difficult proposition once a relationship has developed, so the sooner it’s done the better.  Of course, it is perfectly acceptable to extend the relationship for a short time to re-evaluate your rationale for avoiding marriage.


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