Recently it came to my attention that my daughter and her best friend were involved in a bit of a spat. Compliments of messanger and facebook, the girls were arming their forces and about to come to blows.
This frustrates me to no end, and while some may think it out of place, I responded to the nasty email personally, said it stops NOW, and proceeded to block the child from my daughter’s profiles on all these sites.
These girls were born a month a part, and had been friends since then. I have known the mother of the other for well over 20 years. I thought an email to her was in order, simply stating that this could go on no longer, and that we both raised our children to be better than this.
You can imagine my surprise when the response I received was, “This is just kid’s stuff. There’s way too much going on in my life to deal with this. Kid’s will be kids! :)” The smile was hers, not mine.
I believe that it is our resposibility as parents to see that our children are raised with what I believe to be core values. We respect the space and the privacy of another. We embrace and celebrate our differences…not judge them. We treat each other with respect and compassion. And when our children stray, we know enough to “interfere” and set them back on the right path.
Obviously, this mother had more important things on her mind, and all but accused me of being over protective. Is it any wonder her child would behave any differently?
As parents, one of the most vital things we can provide our children is an example for the behaviour we expect from them. As humans, we hurt and sometimes the worst pain in the world is that that we inflict on each other through stinging words and broken hearts. It sincerely bothered me to see my daughter upset, and if we tell them it’s just words and they shouldn’t let it trouble them, what are we saying about that empty, rolling pain they are experiencing? Tell them it’s not there? Tell them they are imagining things? The words were real, and so was the hurt they caused.
So, forgiveness is the lesson of the day. The words may not be able to be taken back, but with time, they will soon be forgotten and I’ve no doubt the friendship will blossom again. I do however, think it’s terribly sad that the little lady on the other end didn’t have a Mom who would take the time to talk to her about it, and maybe take away some of the hurt that she was no doubt experiencing as well.