What to do if your child is a bully

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Going to school can be a difficult task for any normal teen, but it becomes a horrendous task when there are bullies awaiting your arrival. Just walking up the school steps or making it to the classroom has many challenges, and for some kids they would rather fake being sick than go to school. Although there are anti-bullying policies, it doesn’t always prevent or protect children from being the victim.

When speaking to administrators they said that bullies generally have similar qualities regardless of their age. The average bully is a boy; however girls have also been known to act out. Their home environment is a challenge because one or both of their parents are critical, controlling, and demeaning. Away from their home environment, they haven’t many relationships, and educationally they struggle due to lack of effort.

However, there are cases where a bully comes from a good home. They have the support and encouragement of both parents, they come from well adjusted and loving families, they have many friends, and they excel academically. Because this is a different situation it can leave some people wondering what actually makes a child do this . So what do you do if this describes your child and your family? How do you handle the situation? And what kind of help is available?

1. Guidance Counselors-Starting in the 6th grade, every school has a guidance counselor on staff. This person can help with class selection, class schedules, and other things academically related, but they can also lend an ear. Speaking to the guidance counselor will benefit the parent and encouraging the child to do so as well, will also help.

2. Professional Counseling-If your child isn’t able to open up to their school guidance counselor a professional may need to be sought out. Depending on the need, a child can be seen once a week (if not more) so they can discuss what is going on with them in school and their personal life.

3. Family Therapy-Seeing a family therapist is always a good idea because things can be discussed in a controlled setting. This way the conversation will be constructive and the parents and children can be taught communication skills to use in the future.

4. Quality Time-Some children are lonely because they aren’t able to spend enough time with their parents or siblings. Of course parents have to work and depending on the age of the siblings, they could also be away quite a bit. So spending quality time on the weekends would benefit not only the child but the parents as well. They can all have fun together and catch up on each others lives.

5. Pastoral Leadership-Attending church is an important part of being a Christian. If the church has a Children’s Pastor or a Youth Leader, the child and the parents can speak to them about the troubles that are being experienced within the family. The Pastor/Leader can help them through prayer and encourage them through reading the bible and offering sound advice, based on biblical principles.

It’s not always understood why kids bully, but it does happen daily. No two children are the same. They all have different dreams, goals, and motivations. But one thing they do have in common is the need to feel loved, accepted, and encouraged when they face tough problems. Speaking with professionals and spending one on one time with children will help during the trials of life and foster a close relationship within the family.


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