Holy Sheetz! Be A Winner is Tough

Google+ Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr +

While being the Super Bowl Champions is invigorating, it can also raise the importance and level of demand of daily tasks.

Now when you sit at the dinner table and ask for your wife to pass the salt, she is under more pressure to get the salt to you in a timely and respectful manner. After all you are a Super Bowl Champion.

And imagine the pressure of her doing your laundry and ironing your shirts?

Or what if your the paperboy and your next porch is the house of a Super Bowl Champion? Turn that scenario around now. What kind of tip do you have to give the paperboy now that you are a Super Bowl Champion?

In a similar fashion, what kind of tip do you have to give the pizza delivery people or your waiter/waitress? You don’t want them to be talking trash about you, do you?

“Can you believe that cheap SOB Super Bowl Champion only gave me $5!?” is not what you want your public to hear about you.

What if you are the barber of a Super Bowl Champion? Or if you are bagging the groceries of a Super Bowl Champion? OMG the pressure must be enormous!

What if you are the surgeon operating on a Super Bowl Champion? Now you have the expectations of an entire city on your back!

That brings me to the reason I bring this subject up. Our Super Bowl Champion kicker Jeff Reed was “dissed” at a Sheetz convenience store in the wee hours over the weekend. Oh the humanity!

Just put yourself in Reed’s kicking shoes. Here it is about 3am and you need to use the restrooms at the Sheetz.

To begin with the facilities are probably not up to code or proper standards for Super Bowl Champions to use but you can live with that because they were not forewarned of your arrival.

Nevertheless Reed uses the restroom to relieve himself in some shape or form. Then all He** breaks loose, or the feces hits the fan. (Pick your own metaphor)

As Jeff washes his hands like any self respecting Super Bowl Champion would, he goes to dry them with the paper towels. OH NO! Someone forgot to fill the dispenser!

paper-towel1.jpg       11964374.jpg

Evidently they do not have a air hand dryer at that Sheetz either. What does a Super Bowl Champion do in such a tragic situation? What would you do with just seconds to react?

Well common folk like us would use our pant legs to wipe our wet hands on. But then again we are not Super Bowl Champions.

Needing to get his point across, Reed does a 2 point conversion on the empty dispenser and trashes the bathroom like a rock star.

Then to be certain that no other Super Bowl Champion has to suffer this treatment again he reads or Reed’s the Sheetz staff the Riot Act!

Oh the humiliation they must have felt. We will won’t know for sure if this object lesson and tongue lashing was effective or not until the next Super Bowl Champion goes to dry his hands at that Sheetz but you can bet that was a night they will never forget.

Perhaps the lesson here is a wake up call for the rest of us. For we do not know when we may be in the presence of Super Bowl greatness. So be sure to always have paper towels handy.

I know since hearing of this catastrophe I now carry a roll in my glove compartment. I even have hand sanitizer for good measure. If I use a public restroom I check for the staff and warn them of the potential disaster. You too can do your part!


Hey look I love Jeff Reed but this was pretty pathetic. Probably a little buzzed or something, but come on man!

Yeah I hate that when people making $8.75 an hour can’t take 5 minutes and do their job but this was a bit of a over reaction.


Frankly if it bothered him that much he could have bought the store and fired their sorry behinds! And hired a restroom attendant to be on hand for dignitaries like himself.


About Author

Leave A Reply