“Never say he’s not your type,” says Geraldine my friend. We’re talking about how we can proceed in trying to find husbands for ourselves. We have reached desparate levels. We want to get married particularly as we are at somewhat advanced ages, ages that we cannot disclose.
There’s a man who’s a possibility but then he isn’t my type.
Geraldine says: “You can’t judge a book by it’s cover. I want someone to look after me regardless of how ugly he is.” As an after thought she remarks. “I don’t wash and iron for a man. He must have servants.”
Indeed, our prospective partners must have something tucked away. “Half the men at the Royal Cape Yacht Club are single, ” says Geraldine. “As soon as a man has a yacht you know he’s wealthy. Did you know you’ll never, ever get a loan to buy a yacht.? You have to pay cash.” Well, you learn something new every day. However, finding ourselves at such an exclusive venue as the yacht club was not going to happen and we knew it.
Something more realistic was in order like writing a letter to someone on one of those online dating services. What are my interests? I ask my dear friend.
“Travelling or whatever,” she says. “Tell him you like cooking?”
“You must because the Germans are one of the great culinary nations. That’s why you want to meet him.”
Geraldine is clearly getting impatient with me. She’s decided she ‘s going to dictate what I must write and it must go like this:
In response, I hereby reply as follows. I’m living in Cape Town but born in Zimbabwe. The place where I reside has the world famous view of Table Mountain. I love nature, children and animals, cooking and everything that is beautiful.
I have a pleasant disposition without stress.
I am a slim, medium built lady aged …. no, we have to make it younger, says Geraldine. And it’s not for him to know that you have short hair and black eyes.
The email details are finished. I wonder if he will reply.
“It all depends on your handwriting and script,” says Geraldine. How on earth he’s going to take note of my handwriting via the computer key boards is anyone’s guess. At least the tone of this letter will tell the poor German guy something about whom he’s dealing with – a nut case.
So you’ve had a glimpse into Geraldine’s theories when it comes to men and relationships. To summarise, she reckons that men don’t like women with problems, a woman must package herself as being cheerful and stress free if she is to make headway in matters of love. Then, it ‘s always woman whom people judge in a marriage when it comes to looks. She must be sort of attractive but as for him, anything goes. Finally, Geraldine says that it’s easier finding a man than finding a job. Now that’s definetly not true becasue it’s been one long struggle and we’re not there yet. Perhaps it’s the comforting thought that spurs us not to give up.