What do you do after viruses and zombie bankers eat all your money?
1) Wait until they come back for your brains
2) Remove all sharp objects from your pockets and kiss your behind goodbye.
3) Build a time machine and go back in time and put all your money under a mattress.
None of those solutions sound very practical. Let’s try something else.
The fact is that you are going to need to be pre-emptive to save your fortune. Let’s discuss what the problem is, then how to deal with it.
The problem is that those who seek to destroy the West and capitalism have noticed that bombs, poisons, wars and even flying airplanes into buildings don’t actually work.
Any astute bad guy has by now realized that the closest the west came to collapsing in the past 20 years was during an attack on the banking system mounted by greedy right-wing bankers and stupid left-wing politicians. What every evil doer from Islamic Extremists to communist rebels must realize by now is that what would hurt us the most is taking all our money away. Not threatening to do it but actually doing it.
So what the communists and extremists are probably doing right now is getting together with former government and banking officials who know the codes, secret handshakes and back doors into the banking system. In addition the bad guys are picking the brains of or joining up with hackers, spammers and virus writers.
What will come out of this cabal is a doomsday scenario where in all banks and brokerage accounts are looted simultaneously before more stringent protocols can be put into place.
Sounds bad. What is to be done?
Let’s try the following:
1) Put all your money under a mattress. This one is sounding more plausible all the time.
2) Change all your internet passwords immediately.
3) Change them again Nimrod. This time don’t use words that are in the dictionary, consecutive letters or numbers, repeating characters or in fact anything easy to remember. Here’s a big clue: If it is easy to remember you have already been hacked and your passwords are sitting on some bad guy’s hard drive.
4) Get with your bank or brokerage firm and limit your account so that no more than say 10% can be drawn out electronically on any given day. You get notified instantly every time money is transferred. The location of all receiving accounts must be verifiable. If the location of the receiving account is not in your home country then the electronic transfer is denied. Withdrawals larger than 10% or by someone in a foreign country must be made by you in person.
5) There are firemen who start fires and policemen who use drugs and steal things. Then by definition there must be makers of anti-virus and anti-spyware software who are actually putting malware on your computer. Does your computer seems to run much slower after the latest anti-virus update? You might want to ask your provider why that is…
We still have to have the anti-virus stuff. Be wary of anyone who can not be held finally liable for stealing you blind. Sorry shareware and freeware dudes—this means you.
When will the Zombie Bankers try to steal your money and eat your face? Let’s round-up the usual suspects
1) September 11, 2010
5) New Year
If the radicals are in ascendancy in the cabal then my money would be on 911. If hackers are in charge then I think 10/10/10 would be more likely.