Bema Self's Thoughts About Love

These are just some of my thoughts about love, dating, relationships, marriage and humor. I hope you enjoy them and come back to look at them for inspiration when you need them.


“The first love we learn about in life is the love of our mother and father. So when we first start to notice the opposite gender, we look for our parents.”

“Young love is like walking a tight rope wearing a blind fold with no safety net below you.”

“The best advice that I can give to a parent who’s teen wants to get married, is this; Let Them. The chance that they’ll actually make it to the alter are slime if they spend any real time with the one they think they want to marry.”

“I don’t know why it’s still illegal for teenagers to marry each other. At that age, it’s the only time in their life they would so blindly join themselves to another person and imagine it to be real love. By the time they realize they were wrong, they’ll have kept out of trouble for a few years and will be more cautious next time.”

“Nothing in the world is more entertaining in life, then being a parent whose teenager thinks they are love…”

“When we are young and in love, we can never understand why the adults always snuck off to the bedroom when we tell them about our boyfriend or girlfriend. I always thought it was because they were mad. Now I know it was really because they had to laugh their asses off and didn’t want to offend us.”

“As a young child, about 8 or 9, I thought being in love was what happened when you paid all the bills on t.”

“Young love is so innocent, and amusing. Why ruin by telling them they shouldn’t get so attached?”

“If you forbid your kid from dating at any particular age, you’ll be missing out on the only break you’ll get from your kid for at least another 5 or 6 years.”

“When I was little, we used to play this game called ‘house’. We designated a mommy and a daddy, who were always the two eldest children; a family dog, and the rest of the kids were ‘babies’. Once everything was all arranged, the ‘mommy and daddy’ played with the kids, then yelled at them and told them to go to their rooms, walked the dog, then fed the kids. After that the ‘mommy and daddy’ got out play swords and fought until bedtime. When I think about it now, the only difference between our game and real marriages, is that as kids we new it was all imaginary.”

“Once you’ve found out your kids have a crush or a boyfriend/girlfriend, make sure to pick on them every chance you get. It’s one of those experiences that is just to good to miss out on.”

“As teens we have no idea what to expect from love. That’s why it’s was much more exciting then.”

“Our parents will teach us everything we need to know about love. First they show us unconditional love. No matter what trouble we get into, and no matter how many arguements we have, they never disown us, even if we wish they would sometimes. When we grow to be teens we learn about smothering and why it’s nice to be a free agent sometimes, then we learn about how to control and manipulate those we love to get them to do as we asked. As we grow to be young adults they teach us about breaks up and divorce by kicking us out of the house. They cut their losses and give us an alottment of funds, furniture and advice and wish us luck as they run away quickly.”

 “When we are young, love is a funny thing. It’s when we grow up that it gets scary.”

“As youths, we want to get marriage because we are in love. As adults, most people just want to get married not to be alone…”

“My young son asked me what ‘married’ was. So I told him that it was when two people loved each other and wanted to tell the world, they got married. So he asked me when he would get married, and I told him that he would get married someday when he found a beautiful girl who loved him. A few weeks later he told me he was getting married and I asked him who this girl was that he was marrying. He told me she was a woman who loved him when he was older…”

“Love isn’t anything like the movies. It’s better.”

“Young love isn’t better or worse than true love, it’s just different.”


“When I was younger, I never understood the whole point of ‘dating’. Why not just go right to the good stuff? When I got older I realized that dating was when you exchanged rap sheets and parental phone numbers.”

“A person should never skip over the dating period with a new love. It’s the only time when you’ll really enjoy the relationship.”

“Everyone always claims that dating is like playing baseball. In reality, it’s more like playing hockey. It’s not about making it to each base. It’s about trying to score a few goals and not to geting your teeth knocked out in the process.”

“You don’t have your honey moon after you get married, you have it while you’re dating.”

“In the modern era, people don’t date – then get married – then move in. They greet each other – move in – get married – and then date.”

“Dating is the only time in a relationship when we can pretend to be someone else.”

“If you’d actually like to get to know who you are moving in with, you should date them first.”

“Use dating as your chance to make friends with your mate. Friendships turned to love are always more golden.”


“Most people have no idea what real love is.”

“Real love isn’t about liking someone so much that you feel like your heart will shrivel up if your not with them. It’s about finding someone who makes your heart feel like it could fly.”

“A clear sign that you aren’t in love, is if you question whether or not they love you.”

“Love is music. Music is love.”

“True love is like a good book, you never know what new adventure the next chapter holds.”

“You can’t truly love someone if you don’t also love the mistakes they make too.”

“When you really love someone, you want to help them do what they desire, not hinder them because they don’t fit into your own plans.”

“A man is always his woman’s king, a woman always a man’s queen.”

“The worst relationships claim to be happy. The best recognize that there are sometimes they wouldn’t mind ringing each others necks.”

“Most people confuse being in love with being scared to be alone.”

“I’ll never truly understand why it is that some woman just can’t let their men do their own thing. In my experiences, it has always been that love is so much more interesting when your man is actually happy and allowed to keep their freedom.”

“The best way to ruin love is to try and control it.”

“Love comes in all forms. Whether it’s from yourself, your mate, your pets, your friends or your family, you are always loved.”


“Marriage is something we do when we are young. When we grow up, we don’t want anything to do with it anymore.”

“What I learned from my mother about marriage: 1) Never let your husband do the gift shopping. 2) When you want your husband to do something, make sure to bribe them with a hot home cooked meal. 3) You don’t have to be a beautiful or nice to snag a man, you just have to be a good cook. 4) A good wife is also a doctor, lawyer, accountant, travel agent, arbitrator, lawmaker, judge and jury. 5) A good way to punish your husband when you’re mad at him, is to leave him alone with the kids. 6) You have to allow men to keep a few of their toys, otherwise you won’t have any way to get rid of them for a while when you get annoyed of them. 7) Never let your husband know he’s not really in control of the relationship.”

“What I learned from my father about marriage: 1) The wife makes all the decisions, the husband carries them out. 2) You’ll never have to say you’re sorry if you just do what they told you to do in the first place. 3) Burn the food anytime you’re asked to cook, that way they’ll stop asking. 4) Eat and enjoy whatever your wife cooks, even if you know you’ll pay for it later… 5) There is only one one person you need to get good gifts for when you’re married, and that’s your wife. 6) You should always keep two phone numbers handy at all times, one for a good florist and one for a good jeweler. 7) Never do anything without consulting your wife first, unless you are getting her a gift. Even then it’s a gamble.”

“Living together is about learning to ignore each other affectionately.”

“Most of us spend all our lives wishing to get married, and all of our marriages wishing we weren’t.”

“Marriage isn’t supposed to be about insurance discounts, tax cuts or benefits. It should be about marrying some you love and can put up with for years to come.”

“Never get married until you’ve considered the cost of divorce.”

“The best way to ruin a marriage is to be married by a priest and make it legal.”

“A happy marriage is accepted by everyone except the church and government.”

“Having kids is a great way to learn to sneak around with husband again, almost like when you were young.”

“Sometimes fighting with your spouse doesn’t have anything to do with really being upset, it’s just about keeping them on their toes.”

“A happy couple makes fighting fun and making up exciting.”

“The difference between a happy couple and an unhappy couple, is that the unhappy couple doesn’t enjoy the fighting.”

“Marriage used to be a sacred act of love and committment. Now-a-days, it’s just about getting a better deal on your insurance.”

“Being in love is like wearing ear muffs and a blind fold.”

“A strong marriage isn’t a partnership, it’s a friendship.”

“The best ways to keep your hubby happy are; 1) Cook a steak dinner at least once a week. 2) Treat him poorly on a rare occasion, so that he can win a few arguments later. 3) If he doesn’t seem to know what sort of romantic things you like, give him an example by being romantic for him.”

“Secrets of happy couples: 1) Never have real arguments in front of other people. 2) Spend at least half as much time alone with yourself as you do with your mate. 3) Controlling your spouse is wrong and a great way to lead to divorce. 4) Love is a lot more exciting when you don’t try to control everything your spouse does. 5)

“Forget everything you’ve ever known about love and love your partner as if you had no idea what love is and no expectations.”

“Husbands are great for two things; warming up your feet when they are cold, and taste testing your new recipes.”

“Most mothers and wives can give you the same advice a doctor or psychologist would, the difference is that the mother/wife will give that advice to you free of charge.”

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