Most people have heard the old saying “Don’t mix money with family or friends.” But how many truly understand what it means or the reasons you should avoid mixing money with friends or family? The truth is, mixing money with friends or relatives is a sure-fire way to lose relationships with those most important to us.
Money is an important part of life. In today’s economy, those who “have” are often barely one step above those who “have not.” Choosing to loan someone money or parting with one’s money is something that is rarely taken lightly. A person’s perspectives and choices about their money are often very deeply rooted within their emotions. When you loan family or friends money, you often are taking the risk that they will take advantage of their relationship with you and may not pay you back.
When a family member or friend borrows money from you, it’s a gesture of good faith and trust that you agree to loan them money in the first place. However, if you’ve been pressured by them or “guilt-tripped” into loaning the money, resentment has already started to build – which only becomes worse with time, if the borrower doesn’t pay you back at the agreed upon time.
With the fact that many interpersonal relationships are already easily stressed – a common issue in very close emotional relationships – adding the stressor of money in any shape or form is a good way to cause a situation to explode and a relationship to shatter.
If you’ve loaned someone money and they don’t pay you back, it’s very easy to begin to feel as though you’ve been used or taken advantage of. If you’ve borrowed money and are unable to pay it back as agreed or the other person feels as though they were pressured into loaning it, then you begin to feel hassled and pressured yourself and will begin to resent the other person.
The primary reason that people begin to resent their friends and family members over money is the fact that personal perceptions on money are based on how one was raised, their own values and morals and the attitudes their own parents showed about money. For many people, money is a deeply personal issue and great care must be taken to avoid insulting a person or taking advantage of their generosity.
Many people do not trust others with their money, unless it’s someone they know very well – such as a family member or a friend. But, when a family member or friend breaks trust, resentment will build far quicker than it would if they had loaned money to a total stranger or with an acquaintance they have a business deal with.
It’s usually best to avoid any type of money lending or borrowing with family members or friends. As well, avoid any type of business transactions or contracts with family or friends – unless steps have been taken to protect both parties beforehand and it any agreement made has been checked by a third party to ensure fairness to all involved.
You can avoid the potential hurt or anger that can damage your interpersonal relationships, simply by avoiding mixing money or business with friends and family.