Wedding Jitters: Avoiding Cold Feet Before Your Big Day

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It is quite common for a groom, a bride, or both to suffer from anxiety before the wedding. Couples may become overly concerned or read too much into this natural occurrence, but usually it is just a matter of excitement, not a sign that something is about to go wrong or is already wrong in the coming event or in the relationship itself.

The following are some thoughts regarding ways by which you can reduce or eliminate pre-wedding anxiety.

Relax

Realize that having cold feet before the big day is an extremely common and natural response. Recognizing the generally harmless nature of these feelings will help you tame them. Some people scare themselves into postponing or cancelling the wedding because of these anxieties but this most probably need not apply to you.

Write it down

One way to prove the harmlessness of your wedding anxiety is to write down everything that is giving you so much emotional trouble. It will help you realize that most or none of the things in your list is actually threatening. Moreover, you may find that they are completely illogical. This will cause you to stop nibbling at your nails and start slapping at your forehead while grinning at your apparent silliness.

Talk to your partner

Don’t be embarrassed or apprehensive about talking to your partner about your feelings. You might find that he or she is in exactly the same situation. In this case, you and your partner can usually work things out completely if you help each other.

If talking to your partner is not an option for some reason, talk to a trusted friend or relative. Better yet, talk to a friend who has recently been wed—-he or she can provide you with plenty of perspective.

Make a list

Make a list of your fears and a list of the reasons for wanting to marry your partner. Compare these two lists and you will usually find that the reasons will easily trump the fears, causing you to overcome quickly the negative emotions while heightening your anticipation for the wedding.

Write a love letter

An alternative to talking directly to your partner or making lists is to put those feelings in the form of a love letter to your future wife or husband. If you find that expressing your feelings through writing is more effective and comfortable, you should definitely try it. Your partner may even see a distinct sincerity in your effort and thoughtfulness.

Bring out the photos

Go through old photos to remind you of the good times and make you look forward to creating and living out more wonderful memories with your partner. This is another way of replacing your pre- wedding apprehension with positive anticipation.

Let them worry about the caterers and the band and the invitations

Occasionally, take a break from the planning process. Planning the wedding can be extremely stressful and it may put you on edge, elevating trivial details into major concerns that might even lead you to questioning the whole idea of getting married in the first place.

Trust your instinct

If you come across a serious, legitimate reason for all your apprehension, postpone the wedding and try to work through the problem completely. Watch out for reasons that may threaten the entire relationship not only the success of the wedding–physical abuse, substance abuse, cheating, and such. Some of the more serious issues may require you to seek professional help or discontinue the relationship altogether

Cold feet prior to a wedding is largely harmless and a natural response to the enormity and emotional significance of the event. However, there is nothing wrong with trusting your instinct and examining your reasons for being edgy just before the wedding. If you find a completely valid reason not to push through with the wedding or even to doubt the entire relationship, do something about it.

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