God has been whispering to me from so many sources this week – articles I have read, TV stories I have viewed, and circumstances. The main message I’ve been getting from so many different sources is, “Where will this ultimately lead?”
Children do not have the ability to know consequences of choices until they have been trained by loving parents. As so adeptly illustrated by “The Nanny” each week, these must be mature parents who are willing to mix 6 parts love with 1 part consequences and be consistent. Once children get the connection between their behavior and immediate consequences, they stop to ask “Is this worth what I already know will happen?”
I watched an inspiring story about an all-male school for black boys where they were required to wear suits and ties, and I was so encouraged to hear one of the boys say, “At first it bothered me a lot, but then I asked myself, ‘Will girls get me where I want to go to be a success?'” Whoa! From a fifteen year old, this is a big revelation!
Then I got an email from a friend who was celebrating her one-year anniversary of being a non-smoker. She had realized the cigarettes would not get her to her destination: living long enough to enjoy her grandchildren. Her problem was an addiction to nicotine, but it could just as easily been an addiction to porn, television, the computer, food, or disastrous relationships.
I’ve had a life-altering week, much of it spent in hospital rooms. God’s Spirit whispered to me as I was being shuttled into an ultra-ray tomb-like machine, “The results will be negative. This is just a test… this is just a test… this is just a test.” I said to the man running the machine, “I already know the results will be negative.” And when my doctor called to tell me he had good news, I immediately said, “I know, Doc. I knew in the hospital.”
My doctor wondered what in the world I was talking about; but how do I explain supernatural “knowing” to another human being? Do I risk sounding like a kook by saying, “God told me”?
There comes a time for every person following Jesus Christ and relying on His Grace when that supernatural knowing comes. It is not something one can explain or analyze. It is The Holy Spirit, The Comforter, Who plants that knowledge in our spirit. I call it The Knowing, but it could also be called “The peace of God which passes all understanding.” It is a grace gift from God The Spirit at a time which is critical. It is a gift of knowledge.
God has shown me that because of a childhood in which I was the recipient of so much violence, I am scarred. The scar is not visible to the naked eye. It can only be seen as a fruit of violence, and its name is STRESS. Abused children become nervous adults who are unable to handle stress, yet seek it because it is familiar. The consequences are spastic colons, ulcers, spasming esophagus, heart attacks, or pulmonary thrombosis. So what is one to do?
Fortunately, I have been developing a habit of singing to The Lord. At night, especially, I put myself to sleep with lullabies to God my Father. And I have been learning to “Be still and know that I AM GOD.” There is nothing my Father cannot do! I have been growing into that knowledge by faith. Further, He has increased my ability to believe that He loves me as much as He loves His other children, and if I ask, He will usually give me what I am asking for. He doesn’t love me less (or more) than his other children.
So yesterday when that knowing came to me, I was not surprised. I had been poked, prodded, and stuck like a prize pork roast. I had indulged in normal human fear of the worst. But, in the end, I had been in position to receive the knowing.
So where does this lead? Spiritual maturity! Having the ability to look down the road and figure out where each choice of mine will lead me. It is inexplicable to anyone who has not experienced it, but pure joy for those who know, from their own experience, what I am talking about. I have been encouraged and inspired this week to reach yet another level of spirituality and calmness in my walk with Jesus. It will benefit me with physical health, spiritual maturity, and emotional calmness. But, in the end, it will be to the Glory of God.
(c) 2009 April Lorier