How do I become a better person? This is a question often asked by the people who want to have a new life. Some said that to become a better person, you must be true to yourself or you must have a goal in life so that you are directed to do things positively. Others would say if you only have a determination in facing the challenges or trials of life, then definitely you will become a better person. But we have also that aim that we must be the best though it is hard to become one, that is the reason why we usually aim at least just to be better. Be better at any aspects of our lives that may influence us as a person. That may help is provide things, needed to mold our characters and be liked by others. To be a better person not only in the eyes of others, but most importantly in the eyes of God. Also, in the call of our conscience, of our hearts, and of our thoughts. A better person not only within us but as well as for the rest of the community. A person that grows as he or she molded his or her personality for a better cause. But as what I have stated above, becoming a person with a better personality is not easy to achieve, though mostly people motivates them in the positive way, that becoming a better person is not a hard thing to achieve.
It is really a hard time thinking what to write, because for me, becoming a better person one should exert a lot of efforts before he can achieve it. But as an answer, for me one must have to consider different characteristics and attitudes, which everybody will be comfortable and will suite to what reference they have set before they will crown you that now you are a better person. Whatever the ways of becoming a better person, these are only some key ingredients that for me will eventually lead us to be a better person and can be a big help to have a great pace to start molding and changing our selves.
First, we should posses a good character. Having a good character for me is a big deal, because it is the most common and the easiest characteristic that a person has. It is also the character that people commonly used as their basis in judging someone’s personality. Simple, they will judge you, if you are good or bad. As a human being, goodness is the primary factor that a person will pursue just to be better. But I want to have clarifications upon the character, goodness. We should be good not only in the eyes of the people who surrounds us but to all considerations. That we are good, especially in our hearts, in our thoughts, and as well as in our actions. Because for me again, the hardest thing to achieve and to practice is the attitude of being good.
We should change our attitude from being a close minded one. No one in this world is perfect, so it is important that we are open into comments and regards that maybe sometimes can hurt us and can touch our ego. Being teachable is also a big step to become a better person. If someone will take negative comments from others, those comments should be taken as a guide to change what they see in us that maybe we rarely notice. We should not take it personally, because if we do, we will be only hurt and will only lead us into quarrel and misunderstandings. Negative regards from others can be a good mirror of our inner selves that is difficult to see. There are things on us that we are not given the chance to see and we need somebody to take care of it for us. That is why people around us play an important role. That every word they speak and actions they do has always significance to us. Nobody knows everything, we should know how to view and deal with new ideas. In some way it might help us in attaining our goals that may lead us into our way of becoming a better person.
We must stay being humble at all time. We should consider this as an important ingredient to become a better person because I believe that, if who is the humblest are also the one who is truly great. Being lowly should be a consideration. Do not tell people how great you are, you are not. People know if you are doing great. Let them see it and let them tell it to you. It is more rewarding if those wonderful words which tell how great you are as a person will come from them.
We should also being not judgmental. A judgmental person does not do good, it can only cause him wrong impressions and advance mental view into a person. Look for and recognize the good in yourself and in others. We are all capable of so-called “good” and “bad” behaviors and we all have our “good” and “off” days. We are all unique and it is wonderful that we are different and not all the same – in our appearance, our thoughts, our opinions, our likes and dislikes. Being different is not threatening, it is not “bad”, it is just “different”. Embrace the differences and be happy for the variety. Likewise, forget the concepts of “right” and “wrong”. People are not good or bad or right or wrong; they just are. If you were in “their shoes” maybe you would act differently or maybe not. Being judgmental wastes time and cuts you off from opportunities and meaningful relationships – because you are not perfect either, and your judgment might be worse than the person’s you are judging. Yes it is true that we can be a good mirror for others, but we should know someone first deeply before we cast our judgments. Because like in the saying that, “we can not eat again the food that we have already vomited”.
We should also consider being truthful. There is a good reason for the saying “honesty is the best policy.” Nothing good ever comes from lies, and there is a difference between being diplomatic and telling an outright lie. We must possess this character because this is the one which can help us always feel like we did right. We are true to others so therefore we are true to God. Nobody trusts a liar. If we have made a mistake we don’t have to lie to cover it up. We don’t have to tell your truth “brutally”, there are gentle and tactful ways of delivering truths and we should think carefully before we speak. But don’t try to be deceitful because it has a habit of coming back to haunt us, and in those situations we are worse off than if we had just come clean in the first place, as uncomfortable as that may seem at the time. Truthfulness sets us in a very comfortable feeling. It maintains the cleanliness of our conscience. It delivers us at free thoughts and putting at ease.
Next in line is that we should maintain our Integrity and our Dignity.
Because for me people with their integrity intact are the one who is easier to deal with in work or personal situations. That they know where they stand, so therefore we should know where we should stand with them. We can feel better about ourselves when we set our standards and stand by others and we will attract those who respect our standards and who have standards of their own. Being a doormat is disrespectful to one’s self and to everyone who is ‘walking all over us’. It does not allow them to grow and learn to do something for them. We should learn to say no gracefully. I am into the stand that I have as much right as everyone else on the planet to have our own opinion and our own way of doing things, and reminding us of point that nobody has the right to make us feel ‘bad’ if we think, feel or dress differently. Because it is only with us that we are truly true.
We should have the spiritually oriented character. That when we are spiritually oriented we do believe in God. We know God as the only one who is perfect so we follow him based on his teachings. Therefore if we follow every God’s word we are most likely making our selves fit unto Him. I believe that when we are spiritually full we will have all the good feelings that only were able to feel.
Of course if we are spiritually oriented we should also be a family oriented person. I say so because for me it is at home were we are first taught of everything. I can say that I am so lucky because I was given a chance to live with a family who possess good values. That is why it will lessen my efforts maybe in achieving the goal of becoming a better person. Our family, themselves, can be our good guide in taking the path. They can be a good source of things that can help us becoming one. We can assure our selves that they will not going to lie to us if we will ask something about the things that would help us change. I am also thankful that they have molded me already into a person not too far from a better one. Every time they correct me about the deeds that I am bound to do which are not good. So if only we live in a family with a good value, it is better for us to be family oriented because family orientation can be a very big factor in changing our selves.
We should also practice the attitude of kindness. We must posses that attitude in order for us to be a better person because kindness like goodness is the most common inner characteristic of a person that the people are easy to see. If only we are kind we can have a lot of opportunities in life. We can have a lot of friends and companions that might be a good example of what really a better person is. Kindness means into a person a lot, that when we divert into it we can be a subject of intrigues that possibly will ruin our dignity.
What next is that we should also know our selves. Because by knowing one’s self, he will be able to discover his weaknesses and strengths, capabilities, talents, unique characteristics, likes and dislikes to a certain thing etc. But we really have to do it in order to help ourselves in learning and discovering the things around us. For instance, you will know that you are weak in acting while good in declamation speech; all you have to do in order to be good in both areas is to balance each side like practicing first the acting then the declamation speech.
A good goal must be realistic, achievable but challenging. Some people don’t have a positive attitude towards understanding themselves, the people around them and to the world because they convey it to the negative thoughts in a way that they are afraid to try or accepting the reality, criticisms, the truth, their true feelings and their potentials to excel in a certain thing. That is why when it comes into this case I want to emphasize that we must divert into the norms. We should learn to accept what is reality. Because if we do, I can say that we are also open minded and that we are now willing to accept criticism to help us change our selves.
We should also learn to appreciate and understand the differences of every being. That, not all is the same as you are. For me it is important to learn how to value other people because if we value them they will also value us in return. And also, they were Gods creation; therefore we should know how to accept them as they are. Understanding ones differences is also like knowing your self. You can do comparison of your attitudes, but compare in a good way. We can assess our selves if who we are as we mingle with others. Knowing then that people varies, and knowing what attitudes they have, if you don not liked what characters he or she possess then you can learn avoiding it.
We should also possess generosity, helpfulness and the like. For example, when we see someone who needs help, we must do what we can to lend a hand. Showing that you care for someone is a big factor for becoming a better person. But you do not have to broadcast that you have helped someone. You will feel good and that should be enough. By letting your compassionate side come out, you will soon feel how empowering it can be to sacrifice your time and energy for someone else’s sake. Let it remind you of the value of connecting with people who aren’t as fortunate as you.
Maybe there is really a person exist who can say that “I am a better person now!” But I am pretty sure that before he attained it he did a hard time, maybe do some meditations. Because living in this world will surely put us in a situation where in temptations exist. Ok, it is not becoming a better person which is difficult, what is hard is that we can not avoid temptations that may lead us not becoming one. Therefore I am sure that if somebody who wishes to be a better person will really suffer a hard time reaching that level. Because even writing this is not easy, considering the factors that possibly can help us. Asking me, I can assess my self right now that I is still too far from what we call a better person but, I know that I have already started a big step becoming one. So, how about you? Have you or haven’t you started? It is better to start earlier rather than it is almost too late for you to start. Think about it.