Examine these 5 different love “languages” and decide which one or two best reflects how you notice your spouse responds the most favorably. Does he or she treasure a gift from you. This is actually the easiest love language to change if you understand the principle. You may have to adjust a bit if you are a saver or investor. You will need to understand, your spouse feels a lack of love when you aren’t investing in outward gifts for them. This doesn’t mean a Mercedes or flowers every day. Free,inexpensive gifts give your spouse the security and balance of love they need in a relationship.
Some spouses need and value ‘quality’ time above any other form of love you may show. Many mates feel treasured and loved with the way you listen to what they are saying, and respond with emotions that show you know the inner thoughts of your loved one. Doing things together, going to flea markets, joining a bowling league, going skating, these activities will fill the memory banks of your marriage for years to come, and make for wonderful bonding between the two of you.
Personal touch is a big one with many people. If this is the love language that your spouse needs the most this can make or break a marriage. Take the time to learn what is the best form of physical touch for her/him. A kiss on the lips? A touch of your hand to their cheek? A back massage? A person who loves physical touch would rather have you hold them and be silent, than to have you tell them how much you love them. Learn what kind of physical touch makes them feel loved, and do this, this can provide a security blanket for your commitment for years.
You’re cute! Affirmation of words? Does your spouse respond physically and emotionally when you compliment them, or notice the daily little things they do? Acknowledgment of his/her feelings on a subject. Verbal genuine specific compliments will enhance the deepness within your marriage if this is your spouses’ love language. Encourage them, notice their projects and you will develop a strong emotional tie.
Lastly is the spouse who feels your love by doing acts of service or works. Simply stated you may have to step out of your stereotype, and do things that aren’t what you are used to doing in the past. Washing and vacuuming her car may be something she does, but would love you to do, but may never tell you so. Do it because you want to show her/him love. Volunteering to go to the grocery store so the other person doesn’t have to go do that chore. Vacuuming a room when you’re both expecting company and you know that he/she would find this important. Step out of your comfort zone and make little sacrifices, this will help your spouse feel loved and appreciated and will ensure for a more secure commitment. Remember, it’s not just about “me”, a strong love connection for years to come involves you putting yourself aside, to make it “us”.
This make take studying your spouse. You may both have different ways of feeling loved, the purpose though is to find the way your Spouse feels loved and security from you.
The Divorce Rate is soaring high, if your spouse needs physical touch, and you are a stoic type of person, not given to show affection, you may lose your spouse to someone who demonstrates to him/her what they need to feel loved.
If your marriage or commitment seems not to be responding to any of these love languages, initiate counseling for deeper resolutions in your marriage