How to Stay Single Forever

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This article is done for a bit of fun!  It’s the best of the best, I’d say.  Now, I know that we were created for companionship, but some people just want to buck the system.  I’ve seen them, you’ve met them, we all know them.  If you see one of these guys or gals today, please send them to view this article.  Here’s what I’ve gleaned are the problems or should I say the solutions to: Staying Single Forever!

Talk negatively about the opposite sex to everyone who will listen!  Trust me word will spread that you’re misogynistic or a man hater.

Stop Brushing your Teeth – if you want to join the land of the living again, read my article on: How to properly Brush and Floss your teeth.  (shameless plug!)

Stop Bathing or Showering regularly – no explanation needed.

Stop ironing your clothes – I know there is a generation of sloppy dressers out there, but trust me the honeymoon will soon fade, if you keep showing up at restaurants or events looking like you should still be in bed!

Be rude or fight with the family and friends of everyone you date – this will no doubt provide an immediate and swift release from the relationship.  Remember when it comes to family your date is thinking that the opinions of the crazy they know (their family) is better than the crazy they don’t know (you!).

Hate Life!!!  Just hate it!!  Po Po on anyone who’s happy and tries to help you.  Po Po on people you see smiling, just hate on living!!  –  This will work for those of us trying to stay sane in this crazy world, we can’t afford to be around anyone who’s depressingly insane!

Please try all these things – and your results will be the same.  You will be single for ever and maybe that’s what you want.  If so – ROCK ON!


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