Things You’ll Need
- A good friend
- A notebook
Use the thought stopping technique. Every time you think about your ex, tell yourself explicitly that you are not willing to continue that thought. Then force yourself to think about something else – pick something neutral like a TV show (that you never watched with your ex), or a book, or a current news event and force yourself to think about that instead. If your mind wanders back to your ex, force it back to this new neutral topic.
If you have an irresistible urge to call , IM, or get in touch with him/her, tell yourself that you will do so in 10 minutes. Wait 10 min, and you will often see that the urge has passed away.
If you still feel like you need to talk, write him/her a long letter. After you have written it, either tear it up or hide it somewhere. Don’t send it.
Stop listening to love songs and watching romantic movies for a few weeks. These things make you want to be back in the relationship, and therefore makes it harder to get over your ex.
Make plans to spend time with friends. They will keep you distracted and leave you less time to feel lonely and miss your ex.
Do something new. Learn a new language, learn to sew, learn to make jewelry – you get the idea. This will keep you busy and give you less time to think about your ex.
Share your feelings with a close friend/confidant. If needed, go to therapy. During these tough times, you need someone to love you and support you.
In a notebook, write down all the reasons why you broke up. When you feel sad, look at the notebook and remind yourself that you are better off without your ex.
Step Nine Lastly, recognize that you have lost something meaningful, and that you will mourn that loss for some time. But also remember that things will get better soon, and that there is light at the other end of the tunnel. You are wonderful, and you will find someone else who will love you and cherish you for the rest of your days.