Friday, December 15

Why You Should be Single

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  55 percent. Any guesses as to what the significance to that percentage might be? If you guessed “divorce rate”, then pat yourself on the back. In other words, over half of the people that take those “sacred” vows will break them before it is all said and done. How scary is that? Honestly, if it weren’t for people such as my parents, who have been married for 34 years, I wouldn’t place much faith in the institution of marriage at all. If you were getting married tomorrow, you could basically flip a coin as to what the outcome of your union will be. So why is it that this number is so unacceptably astounding? Ok..ok…don’t pull my arm off….I will offer my opinion. As humans, it is within our innate nature to seek out affection and form meaningful relationships (naturally with those of the opposite sex, but there are those who “CHOOSE” to frolic with the fairies, but we won’t go there).

So as we encounter members of the respective adverse gender, we instinctively ask ourselves, whether consciously or unconsciously, “am I physically attracted to this person? Is this someone who I could embark upon a relationship with on a higher level than friends”? Sometimes the answer may simply be no, and sometimes it may be yes. As social creatures, we are often times bound by the restrictions of our circumstances, which causes us to be around specific people on a repetitive basis-whether it is at school, work, etc. In other words, if we do find that someone that we are even remotely attracted to, that attraction is constantly reinforced by seeing him or her on a regular basis. And with no other players introduced into the picture, relationships many times form from that reinforcement. As members of the general middle class population, I don’t think we are as selective or as picky as we probably should be.

This brings me to the thesis of my opinion, which is this: Too many people settle for 2nd best. So many times I see girls and guys involved in detrimental and hurtful relationships. And often times I ask them why they are in such a situation, and they can’t provide a sufficient answer. Why is this the case? Perhaps it is because we as humans despise loneliness and seek to extinguish it at any cost, thereby settling for second best, whatever the damage may be in the end. And usually, we end up searching for the pieces of our shattered hearts. When I look back on my past failed relationships, I consider them mistakes.

Although I also consider them invaluable learning experiences. If given the opportunity to rewind time and relive those certain romantic moments, I would surely act differently. I see now that what seemed like a great idea at the time was simply a misguided effort to fulfill my latent desire for affection and meaning. I now realize that declaring my status as “single” isn’t necessarily a bad thing. That is the sole reason that I will not enter into another exclusive relationship with a girl unless I am 100% sure that she is the only one I want to be with for the rest of my life, and unless I am confident that she feels exactly the same way. Im tired of relentlessly pursuing that ever elusive “soul mate” only to find myself more lost than before. By being single, I can devote 100 percent of myself to pursuing my own interests and dreams and won’t be weighed down making costly sacrifices for a relationship that I am not completely sure about.

By doing so, am I so heavily barricading the door to my heart that the girl of my soul’s dreams won’t be able to push her way through? Not at all. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. By not tying myself up in meaningless sub-par commitments simply for the sake of appeasement or complacency I am clearing the path and building a road for her to find me more easily. So I implore you, don’t settle for second best. You don’t HAVE to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend to survive. If you are single, don’t feel like you have to be in a relationship. Only enter in it if you are certain it’s the one you never want to leave. That’s my philosophy from here on out.

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