It’s human nature to sometimes hold onto an event that has hurt, disappointed, or severed a relationship. No matter how long ago it happened, the wound can still be deep and hard to heal. But there are ways and things that you can do to help the healing process.
When a relationship is broken, one of the parties may not understand why or what happened that brought the relationship to an end. So it may help to discuss the issue with the person that was involved. It shouldn’t be a conversation that stirs up an argument, but it should be more of a conversation to gain information for the benefit of both parties. For instance, you can ask if there was something that you could have done to prevent the problems or was there something that you should have done that you didn’t. Although it doesn’t sound like this would make a difference, it can bring closure to a situation so that you can get past it and move on with your life.
Since every person is different, they all have different ways to handle certain situations. But they shouldn’t dwell on the “what ifs”. They think, “what if” they would have done this, or “what if” they would have done that. But regardless of the question or answer it will not make the current situation any better. Mulling it over in the mind only adds to the problem and can bring about more issues to deal with.
When a person gets hurt, it can be devastating and many times their hurt turns into anger, anger into bitterness, and bitterness into unforgiveness. Living with unforgiveness has a way of damaging our mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health. For this reason it is important to forgive those that hurt you so that you can prevent other areas of your life from suffering.
Not only is it important to forgive the person that hurt you, it’s important that you forgive yourself as well. We all have things that we struggle with, and there isn’t anyone that is perfect. Yes you made a mistake but you have to forgive yourself for your part in the situation. Holding on to that guilt isn’t good for you and will actually restrict you from enjoying your life.
Although relationships can end as quickly as they began, it’s important to remember that no matter what happens, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You can get past a situation that devastated your life. But you have to be willing to do your part to leave the past behind.