Sunday, December 17

How to Control Your Anger

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What is Anger?

According to, “One out of five Americans has an anger management problem. Anger is a natural human emotion and is nature’s way of empowering us to “ward off” our perception of an attack or threat to our well being. The problem is not anger; the problem is the mismanagement of anger.”

“Anger itself isn’t a problem — it’s how you handle it.” says Robert Zackery, a clinical social worker at Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn., who provides counseling and runs anger management classes.

Anger happens to the best of us. It is not necessarily a “bad” thing to be angry, and in fact can be turned around into a positive emotion once the individual is able to control it.

The three parts of anger:

There are three components to anger which one must identify if they choose to control their anger now or in the future.

  1. Physical:

Anger affect us physically by raising our blood pressure, increasing the heart rate, causing muscular tension and finally throwing the angered individual into flight or fight mode by increasing adrenalin.

      2. Emotional:

          Contrary to what most believe, anger itself does not just happen immediately. There are other emotions which precede ones anger such as frustration, hurt, sadness, disgust, fear, disappointment, and neglect.


          Mentally, anger can affect us in many ways. The way you think plays a big role in how you will handle your anger, as well as outside influences, how you were raised, and the thoughts you add to the situation. This is why some people may have a cup of coffee spilt on them and they are ok with it, where others will literally assault the one who spilled the coffee in the first place.

Anger Triggers:

  • Relationships: When a relationship is not working properly, or the individual’s needs are not being met as they feel they should, anger may arise
  • Things don’t work:Many men get upset when an object or a mechanical device does not work as it should
  • Blockage of needs:When a goal we try to achieve is blocked in any manner
  • Mental component: “we evaluate whether anger is a justifiable response against this person or object. In a split second, we take in who’s to blame, how harmful the trigger is, whether the action was avoidable and whether anger will even be useful in this situation” (Molly Edmonds, How Stuff Works 2010).

How to get help:

Cognitive behavioral therapy is a type of psychotherapy based on the idea that your own distorted thoughts and beliefs lead to your anger. Cognitive behavioral therapy teaches you that only you are responsible for your own moods and behaviors. In other words, you choose to get angry, no one makes you get angry.

According to the theory behind cognitive behavioral therapy, you have negative automatic thoughts or beliefs in certain situations. These inaccurate thoughts lead to unhealthy moods and behavior, such as anger, overeating, anorexia nervosa, depression, and more. Cognitive behavioral therapy helps you become aware of these inaccurate thoughts and beliefs. You learn to view situations more realistically. This assists you in dealing with life in a more realistic and normal manner.

Cognitive behavioral therapy is a common type of psychotherapy. It combines features of both cognitive therapy and behavior therapy. Cognitive behavioral therapy is helpful for numerous mental illnesses and stressful life situations.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy is also evidence-based, which means that it is supported by research that proves that it is effective in helping people make emotional and behavioral changes.

If you or anyone you know has an anger problem, check out the web sight listed above, or call a local mental health therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy or anger management techniques. There are also anger management classes in most cities where you can


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