Mr. Rooney: What’s the score?
Pizza Joint Owner: Nothin’ nothin’.
Mr. Rooney: Who’s winning?
Pizza Joint Owner: The Bears.
Ferris: Look, it’s real simple. Whatever mileage we put on, we’ll take off.
Ferris: We’ll drive home backwards.
Ferris: Life moves pretty fast. You don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Ferris: Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you’d have a diamond.
Jeannie: There is an intruder – male, Caucasian, possibly armed, certainly weird – in my kitchen… M-my-my-my name is Bueller…
Jeannie: Look, it’s real nice that you hope my brother is feeling better, but I’m in danger, okay? I am very cute, very alone and very protective of my body. I don’t want it violated or killed, all right? I need help! Speaka de English? DICKHEAD!
Some Student: If Ferris Buellar dies, he’s giving his eyes to Stevie Wonder.
Ferris: Cameron has never been in love – at least, nobody’s ever been in love with him. If things don’t change for him, he’s gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she’s gonna treat him like shit, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won’t respect him, ’cause you can’t respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn’t work.
Ferris: Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism’s in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, “I don’t believe in Beatles, I just believe in me.” Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I’d still have to bum rides off people.
Ferris: The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It’s a good non-specific symptom; I’m a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh… you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor’s office. That’s worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you’re bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It’s a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.
and the number one quote from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is…
Clear Eyes Guy: Bueller?… Bueller?… Bueller?