Saturday, December 16

Hospital Humor — Doctor And Nurse's Funny Jokes

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What are some of the hardest jobs in the world?  My answer would be pretty much anybody that works in a hospital especially doctors and nurses.  I have to give the utmost respect to anybody that chooses to work in a hospital for a career.  Being around sick and dying individuals on an everyday basis has to both emotionally and physically draining.  To make the job a little less stressful, employees in hospitals have come up with their own terms and words to describe patients, treatments and diagnoses.  All of these are on the humorous side and make the job a little more tolerable.  So, enjoy these humorous terms…

“Eating In”  —  Being fed by intravenous tube.

AGMI  —  Ain’t gonna make it.

“VIP”  —  Very intoxicated individual.

UBI  —  Unexplained beer injury.

“Silver bracelet award”  —  Patient wearing handcuffs (or escorted by police)

“Rear Admiral”  —  Proctologist.

‘CTD  —  Close to death.

GTTL  —  Gone to the light.

“Gassers”  —  Anesthetists.

DBI”  —  Dirt bag index – a mathematical formula where the number of a patient’s tattoos times the number of missing teeth equals the number of days since they last last bathed.

“Blood Suckers”  —  Anyone who takes blood samples. 

AGA”  —  Acute gravity attack (patient fell over and cannot get up)

“Coffin dodger”  —  Patient that was supposed to die and did not.

“Gone camping”  — Patient in an oxygen tent.

“GPO”  —  Good for parts only.

“D&D”  —  Divorced and desperate.  Someone who comes to the hospital who is not sick but just needs attention. 

“Granny Dumping”  —  Checking in an elderly relative into an emergency room so you can go on vacation.

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