I’ve spent my whole life living in a Middle Eastern Arab society. As I was like all others living the contractions of religious beliefs and enforced traditions transferred to us by parents, relatives, school, and even government; I experienced that contradicting life when I was eleven.
By the time I started recognizing that I do not want to visit mosques, do the praying, and cope up with all those enforced limitations; I found that this was not my way in life.
I was one of rare people to revolt on all those contradictions; I decided to go my way and do what I feel right for me. Besides the discriminating behavior I faced by everyone I knew including parents, brothers and sisters, school colleagues, and the society; I was in a frontier with a larger monster: the inner part of me!
Sometimes I thought that I was wrong not obeying what the traditions say and what God wanted me to do according to all those religious things we were thought at school. But at the same time I loved what I used to do that time: listening to music, shooting photographs of every creature I see with my camera, dancing, swimming, and doing the sin of having a teenage relationship with my girl friend.
Year after year I started to recognize that I was almost alone in that seventies society where everyone is so tight to those limitations. But I discovered that all people around me are envying me on the courage I had to rebel on those beliefs; although, they continued to fight me and consider me as a renegade.
When I went to university for my bachelor degree, I started to recognize that there were a large slice of the society trying to do what I did, and similar to me they were discriminated too.
Now as I’m getting older, and after more than thirty years of my life; I still see young people trying to rebel on all those obsolete traditions, religious beliefs, and dare to get into the contradiction.
In this area of the world especially when you are a female; it becomes a mission impossible thing to show your real personality. The choice is to get into a schizophrenia state of choice and have not only two personalities, but even a multiplicity.
My own experience had shown to me that not one of ten neither ninety nine of a hundred people are living this status; but every single one in our society do live at least more than one personality.
When it comes to females; the problem becomes more sophisticated as they even need to hide their other personality from those whom they really need to deal with on daily basis. Can you imagine a wife hiding here real personality from her husband, sons, and daughters; in addition to coworkers and lady friend?
The worst at all is the case of females at the age between twenty two and thirty; as they are looking for the right husband who is supposed to be a soul mate, a fairy tales prince on a white stallion, or a very rich business man who can provide financial support.
The contradiction continues when these people start having children and they are asked to raise them up with the same traditions and religious beliefs enforced. Instead of learning the listen and moving ahead breaking all those chains to allow the new ages to become free; they replicate their parents and grandparents behavior to emphasize on the repetition of the cycle leaving the society living the case of schizophrenic contradiction.