Wednesday, December 13

Solitary Drinking: The Benefits of Drinking Alone

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This article was previously published on Associated Content

You may be accustomed to spending your weekends out at the club or with friends, but you find yourself stuck in your house this evening. Thinking this will be the most boring night of your life?

Nonsense! If you have a little alcohol, then everything can be splendid. Here are some ways to enjoy your evening through solitary drinking.

Solitary Drinking Tips: Music
I can spend an entire night listening to different playlists on my media player. Add in the wide selection of music videos and parodies on YouTube, and this can easily entertain you for the entire night.

Thinks sound and look different when you’re drunk. The worst songs I have ever heard can begin to sound amazing. Videos you found stupid become hilarious. You start taking the lyrics to Rucka Rucka Ali parodies seriously.

You can watch or listen to anything you desire because you are drinking solitarily. No DJ replaying that Ke$ha song every fifteen minutes throughout the night, you can play what you want for the entire night.

Solitary Drinking Tips: Television
Occasionally, I like watching a little animation. Pixar, Qubo, and especially Adult Swim are my primary choices when I am buzzed. There’s something about colorful productions or cartoons that have a degenerate sense of humor that become more appealing when you are conflicted with the booze.

Solitary drinking while watching television is good in small doses, but it shouldn’t be your go-to option. There are so many better things to do than couch potato your night away when drunk. Besides, it’s hard to see the screen when your vision is too blurry to see straight.

Solitary Drinking Tips: Gaming
These next two tips could be considered social drinking, but you’re not actually drinking in the presence of other individuals. You’re just demonstrating your incredible skills under the influence of alcohol to people hundreds of miles away. They’ll never realize your drinking…

Online gaming can be a fascinating experience. A few drinks could actually improve your game. While it may hinder your hand-eye coordination, it can help you to relax during tense situations. On a headset, you might be able to expand your trash talking vocabulary without getting ridiculous.

Take caution, however; if you have a top-100 ranking in an online game, you could find yourself out of the top-1000 the follow morning it if you continue to play once you approach the stupor state.

Solitary Drinking Tips: Social Networking
Not into online gaming? Use social networking for your solitary drinking entertainment! Demonstrate your phenomenal typing skills throughout internet message boards, blogs, and social networking sites as you down each drink. Let the entire world see who you are when you are intoxicated. With your luck, your drunken shenanigans will make you a viral star.

When you awake in the morning, you may want to delete everything that you wrote about. Don’t worry, however; as long as it doesn’t involve an automobile, you can always blame it on the alcohol.

Solitary Drinking Tips: Writing
Whether you are a solitary drinker or a social drinker, I recommend spending one night writing while intoxicated. The results of your writing when your intoxicated can be hilarious, brilliant, or a combination of both.

If you’re courageous, you’ll post your writing online immediately after you have completed it. Otherwise, save it in a notepad to read after you have sobered up the following day. The first time I got drunk, I wrote a notepad full of mumbling that I intended on e-mailing to someone. After I sobered up, I was too humiliated to even read the entire thing.

Solitary Drinking Tips: Breathe Tester
I purchased an Alcohawk breath tester for two reasons. For one, I wanted it to make sure that I was below the legal limit on days following drinking. Since I refuse to drive after drinking more than 2 standard drinks, it doesn’t serve me much use for that purpose.

The second reason I purchased a breath tester was for entertainment. I enjoy seeing how drunk I am at certain intervals of the night. I find out that I’m really feeling the positive effects once I reach .12 to .15. It can be a fascinating method of watching your alcohol intake.

You could use it during social drinking, but you’re putting yourself at risk. If you bring a breathe tester with you during a social gathering, then everyone will want to use it. Murphy’s Law states that the only person with aids will use it without a mouthpiece and then you’ll use it, effectively inflicting you.

During solitary drinking, it’s just you and your breathalyzer.

Solitary Drinking Tips: Modern Drunkard Magazine
Modern Drunkard Magazine is a magazine written by alcoholics and for alcoholics. MDM is an online publication that’s entertained their readers through satire and wit from expressions of alcohol since 1996.

If you are a solitary drinker or are looking into solitary drinking for the first time, then I strongly suggest reading The Zen of Drinking Alone. An article about the motives and benefits of social drinking, The Zen of Drinking Alone is one of the masterpieces of the 21st century.

Modern Drunkard Magazine “The Zen of Drinking Alone. June 15, 2010.


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