Friday, December 15

Top Quotes From Glee

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SUE SYLVESTER:

I’ve never wanted kids… don’t have the time, don’t have the uterus.

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You may be two of the stupidest teens I’ve ever encountered — and that’s saying something. I once taught a cheerleading seminar to Sarah Palin.

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I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then on some dark cold night, I’ll steal away into your home and punch you in the face.

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You know I was down at the pharmacy and they’re having a monster sale on dep. Dep is a hair gel. And once again I am making fun of your incredibly stupid hair due.

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Will, I made a small diaper for you’re chin, because it looks like a baby’s ass

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All I want is just one day a year when I’m not visually assaulted by uglies and fatties. Seriously, Ohio, these retinas need a day off. So here’s the dream, the Friday after Christmas, which I have off, if you’re hideous stay at home. Spend the entire day watching home videos of a time when you weren’t too repulsive for me to ever want to look at.

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I’ll often yell at homeless people: ‘Hey, how is that homelessness working out for you? Try not being homeless for once.

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It is my strong suggestion these two students be hobbled

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You think this is hard? Try being waterboarded, that’s hard!

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I think you should both pack up and move out of the district, unless you wanna lose your man to a mentally-ill ginger pygmy with eyes like a bush baby.

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You know what, I checked out of our conversation about a minute back, so good luck with your troubles, and I’m gonna make it a habit not to stop and talk to students because this has been a colossal waste of my time

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BRITTANY WOODS

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Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?

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I’m pretty sure my cat’s been reading my diary

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I’ve been here since first period. I had a cold and I took all my antibiotics at the same time, and now I can’t remember how to leave. But I also don’t know why I only made fourth on the Glist, I made out with like everyone in the school, girls,boys, Mr. Kidney the janitor. I need to do something to get into the top 3

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Artie: I’m kinda getting cold feet

Brittany: Can you even feel your feet?

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You guys, it’s like cool epilepsy.

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Snatana: Sex is not dating

Brittany: If it were Santana and I would be dating

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KURT HUMMEL

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It’s hard to appreciate your talent because I want to shove a sock in your mouth.

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I don’t know why I find his stupidity charming. I mean, he’s cheating off of a girl who thinks the square root of four is rainbows.

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Oh Bambi. I cried so hard when those hunters shot your mommy.

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One day you will all work for me

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Dad, I need you to respect my privacy. Brittany and I were just having…sexual relations.

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Makeovers are like crack to me.

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