Monday, December 11

Penniless Charles

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Penniless Charles (dedicated to the former CEO of AIG)

The recent riches, with which I have been showered the past few months, has allowed me to vastly advance further in the world of the dollar, and those who assisted with this should be duly noted.

            My wife has recently purchased a second motor-boat, and we are no longer forced to share one with our neighbors; nor have we been without a coinciding set of French-made slip covers for the watercraft. She has also been able to get the other pair of Prada she has been coveting for so long, and she has just signed the contract on the expansion to our pool. I, myself, have been able to upgrade to the 2008 BMW Phantom, and I am no longer ashamed to go into town any longer. All of these things together have lessened my wife’s maniacal disposition and made her almost bearable.

            Taking all of these things into consideration, there is but one person to thank: Me.

My ample intelligence and immeasurable wit have brought wealth and prosperity to my doorstep. Thank you, me.

Your courteous and kind author,

Maurice “Henry” Greenburg.


Progress is made by those too lazy to do things the hard way.

Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

No matter how many times the hamster turns the wheel; he will never find the end.

The sweetest bite of the apple is the slowest.

Two wrongs don’t make a right, but 3 lefts do.

The time to relax is when you don’t have time to do so.

Late to bed and late to rise leaves a man content, unspent and nice.

Chattiness and obnoxious-ness are a fool’s virtues.

The low-lying hen escapes the fox’s gaze.

No problem, no matter how big, is ever permanent.


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