Friday, December 15

How to Say NO

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Finally you have decided it is high time you took charge of your life again. Saying no will be an option that you will lean to as frequently as needed. However, by refusing someone does not mean hurting that person, so learning how to politely say NO is essential.

1.Gain some time

Maybe you are not sure you want to say YES or NO or you just want to have the time to give your answer in a considerate manner. Phrases like “Let me think a litle”, “I can’t answer you immediately” or “ Let me check my agenda” will buy you the time you need. Have a deep breath and think if you have the time, the mood and the ability to help that person.

2.Formulate an answer

If you have reached the conclusion that any extra responsibility will definitely kill what had left of your spare time, then wrap your NO in the most beautiful package. If you are not such a good speaker or your iamgination is running low, just say: “I am so sorry, but I really don’t have the time”, “I would love to, but I already have some other projects.” or “I am not sure that I am the best person to handle this matter.”.

3.Give a solid reason

If your answer is not sufficient for the one asking for your help, you should bring on one more reason to illustrate your desperate situation: “I have to take my daugther to piano lessons and she already missed the previous one.”, “My mom really needs me and I promissed to help her.” or  “Tomorrow is my husband’s birthday and I want to make him something special”. I am not suggesting you should lie, but think carefully and find the most pressing situation. In fact, it is this why you can’t or won’t take on a new job.

4.Strengthen your opinion

Some people are really pushy and this is how they actually get what they want. Of course, they might have some serious problems, too, but this does not mean that yours are less important. Stay firmly on your position and you may say something like : “ I throughtoutly understand you as I am in the same situation.” That person may remain speechless because you’ve just used his advantage in your favour.”

5.Offer an alternative

Not being able to actually do what somebody asks you does not necessarily mean not helping him or her. Perhaps you know someone else who can deal with the problem or

suggest a easy and quick way to solve it. It will seem that you are truly involved and wanting to help, but not available at the moment.


Conclude your speech with a broad smile and a warm wish such as “ I hope you will find a solution as soon as possible!” or simply “Good luck with your project”. Nobody can stay angry with you after you have done everything possible to help solving the problem.

By refusing to do something does not mean you being indiferent or unconsiderate. It just means  that you have your priorities established and your family or yourself  need more your time. Don’t be afraid to

Check this out, too, and learn When to say NO .


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