Wednesday, December 13

Teenagers And Parents

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Teenagers and Parents

Ideas for parents and teenagers, to learn from each other and be able to communicate easily.

How can teenagers and parents understand each other?

Reading further should improve the knowledge of teenagers and parents, some parents may understand their teenagers,while others are still trying to find easy steps to communicate on a daily basis.

It is not an easy task to let go of your children when they reach their teenage years, it does remind you as a parent, of when you were a teenager, but times have changed.  There is  much more to deal with, now than before from ages13-19,  parents are faced with difficult issues.

For a teenager to be able to experience life, but with limitations, is another issue as some want to do more than that. There are many ways of enjoying and being entertained,  as a teenager.

No teenager has to do anything to impress a friend, it can be dangerous to a an individual’s health, like abuse of alcohol ,  taking drugs, smoking marijuana, or  in contact with the other groups  that have bad influences on your child, and,  if you are child is new to the outside world, this is an option to learn from family and  teachers about how to differentiate from right and wrong.   A teenager should not do anything they are not comfortable with.

Girls, should not allow themselves to be degraded by boys, they should respect each other, so it makes it easier for both genders. Parents have an important part in their children’s lives in teaching them to respect others, to trust , to be polite, to be honest, on how to gain trust, after all, it begins at home. not at your first day of nursery school, preschool, or primary school, the discipline of your child should start at an early age.

It is of great importance to know where your child is out for the night,  or at any other time,(if not at school).  Parents should show interest in their child’s day to day schedule. Too many boundaries, may only encourage your teenager to do  what  shouldn’t be.   Every individual  thinks differently, so don’t compare your teenager with others.  Each child understands and sees life  in their way.

Language Development:

To improve the language of a teenager, reading is a great idea, this allows them to speak properly, and, not to fall into the slang language all the time. Sometimes, proper use of English words are easily forgotten,  in this way.

Personality and moral responsibility:

A good sense of humor shows personality, smiling at others, whenever you can, friendliness, confidence, able to speak out to people, not being shy, to be more outspoken. When in the classroom interacting with others, you should be able to  speak freely.  Parents,  should ensure that their children, are to be responsible,  by setting chores on a daily basis. Having a pet, join the local library, being punctual when returning borrowed books. Babysitting a neighbour’s infant,  that shows responsibility too.

Oneself

Physical Maturing: 

This is a kind of emotional growth to come to terms with oneself, and to allow acceptance.   Children, especially, girls in this way,  are aware of the changes in their bodies, their sexuality, changes of hormones, breast development, mood swings, these are the important for teenage girls to know when growing up, when does their menstruation cycle begin?  For some at the age of 11,  and for others when older. It is, not the same for every girl to be wearing a bra  at the same time.

Parents, should  show an interest,  in their teenage girls,  and, explain the facts of life, by not feeling embarrassed in using the appropriate words as an explanation.

Family Relationship

Communication between immediate families and extended families like aunts, uncles, grandparents,nieces and nephews, allows teenagers to learn more about themselves. Teenagers learn more about their history from their extended families, place of birth, ancestors,  and, understanding each other too.

Making Friends

As  teenagers, meet other people, they should learn of their friend’s identity, the place of birth, friend’s background, and,  to enable good friendship, and know the person, one is acquainted with. It is difficult to trust every one you know,  so in this way you learn to trust and be safe.  Having friends is important, it allows you to find yourself and have a social life.

How to Meet People

Meeting other people, can be hard in some situations, but with simple ways, it can be possible.

Well, it is in most cases, that you are shy about meeting other people in your community, or if you are in a new school.

Don’t be unsure of your thoughts.

Be the first to say hello, greet someone, be jovial. 

Introduce yourself, and, take it from there, it would either go your way,  or maybe it won’t,  it is something you should take a chance on, at least you know that you have tried, and, will be familiar about your mistakes  for  what to do next, if you don’t succeed.

To meet people, you got to get out there and be positive.

Use your sense of humor, don’t try to be something,  you are not, this will ruin the friendship.

Try have new ideas when with people, remember people’s names,  ask,  if you don’t recall,  this will make it easy on you,  to speak up.

Show interest in other people’s conversations, be enthusiastic about issues.  Keep in touch, exchange telephone numbers, meet up, when you want to, and, be punctual.

Encouragement is important, and, show involvement in previous conversations, too.

Try not to hang on a friend or person in the group. Be independent, respect each other.  Don’t show off  clothing or jewellery, just be simple.

Interacting with Others

How do you communicate? Are you confident in public places? Are you a positive person? Do you feel comfortable when you are with other people? Are you free to make conversation?

These are just some of the questions, asked by teenagers, parents should communicate with their children about these issues and listen carefully to what is required. Teenagers learn to be confident , to speak  and,  to be positive with others from their parents and family.

Importance of Teenage Education

It is of great importance for parent, and child to be educated in  the new world we are living in,  there are far too many changes and parents should show their children how to cope with their surroundings.  Teenage education is crucial,  because there are  many challenges to face up to, and with control, it can be possible.

Organisation

Teenagers that read books, should be able to understand the concepts and facts of the information on a specific topic. Books should be on a teenage level,  it depends on  how the concept and information given  is grasped by the individual.  If a teenager  finds it difficult to comprehend, a friend, a parent or the teacher can help solve the problem.

Self Esteem

How often do we lack self esteem? 

Pessimist and a optimist. Some of us are both, we tend to feel that way when something goes wrong. Love yourself, and be yourself, it makes you feel good, positive, and happy.

Try to be more of an optimist, look on the good side of life. This encourages you to be more of a better person. A dull person,  looks on the negative side of life, and becomes sad and depressed, a person that never sees anything good which plainly looks at life with a weak attitude, and,  thus makes him/her a pessimist.

Relationships, Love, and,  Intimacy

How do you learn from relationships, love, and intimacy?

Teenagers could  learn of a relationship if they have  formed  one,  you can either be serious about your partner,  or it could be an experience for both partners, this could be a learning point and lessons are leaned from this relationship.  In some cases, you become intimate, as you want to have fun and experience what you need to know about life as a teenager.   To know what love feels like, to create something new.

If your relationship is not going well, take some time to think about it, make a break from it, do not feel you would hurt the opposite sex and is afraid to let go. One should be able  to learn to feel pain too, it makes you a stronger person. All it takes is  time to heal, no matter what you decide,  it works out for the best. When you make decisions , feel free to go with the flow. You could only learn from your mistakes, nobody is perfect.  Be with friends and family after a break up. It makes you feel better and lets you know that you are still loved. Being alone makes you a vulnerable person. Learn to love someone,  when you know you are ready for it, and, then think about trusting the person close to you before  trying to be intimately involved.

Why do parents need to be educated in raising teenagers?

Not many parents are aware of the ways of raising teenagers, this information can be of worth your while.  Parents shouldn’t yell at their teens, it makes  teenagers feel they are not loved by their parents,  and become isolated persons,  they start seeking friends that feel the same way and turn into the wrong direction. Teenagers,  who are lonely and depressed and feel unloved by their parents become  street kids or gangsters.   

Parent and child fail to understand each other by yelling. By talking to each other,  it makes the problem easier, in this way nobody feels hurt or neglected.  Try to do chores around the house and spend quality time together. Teenage children can only learn at first from their parents, then teachers, other informative books, friends, and extended families. If you are not taught at home,  discipline will not be taught on the street, in which way it doesn’t go the way you expected,   parents should teach discipline at a young age.  As their teenagers get older they  would  grow to be a pleasant and an obedient teenagers.  Not every teenager is the same.

Ways to be Happy and Stress-Free

When a teenager feels stressed after a day at school or by a family or friend, try to go for a walk. Get some sunshine, have a full 8 hours of sleep. Play with your pet, if you have one.  Be happy, have a smile, to feel good, it doesn’t cost you much to be this way.

Try not to bother about bickering, outdoor activities, make your mind feel relaxed.  Call  a friend, go out for coffee, be nice to people, talk to your  neighbours, just be yourself.  Have a day out, have a bus ride into town,  visit the shopping  mall, you don’t have to go shopping to feel good either.

Get involved with a fund raising event, or an organisation, where you are able to help others and also, it would make them feel good.  Make the most of your valuable time, enjoy each day. 

By spending more time outdoors, especially, if the weather is good.

If you are happy from the inside of you, then it will show on your face.  A clear proof of how you feel.  Sunshine is good for you, for  ten to fifteen minutes a day, as it boosts your immune system.   If you have problem sleeping, inhale, deep breathing, hold it for ten seconds,  and then breathe out, do this a few times,  you will be able to relax and fall asleep.

Dressing: How Should Teenagers Dress?

Well, that depends on the individual as a teenager. How you dress represents you, in public,   but not every teenager wants to be a sloppy dresser. Some teens dress according to fashion, and others  wear what they like or can afford to buy. Advise from the concerned parent,  helps to make amends when it comes to ideas of dressing a teenager. Try to dress appropriately for the occasion , use make-up lightly, with guidance.  Parents should be aware of their children’s ideas, and,  sharing their opinions together.   Mothers and daughters, should plan,  shopping together to buy what is affordable and having to talk about any issues.  When your son has reached his teenage years, he would feel comfortable discussing his ideas with the dad.

Dating

When should a teenager start dating? 

Dating starts when teenagers feel they are ready to experience one of the  most exciting part of their lives. When dating,  they shouldn’t feel shy, hangout with friends in your own age group,  you will notice that you will have lots in common. Do not use fake identities because your friends do. Respect each others’ wishes. When friends get together to go out for parties,  make sure they are easily contactable.

The party should be  in a safe environment, when you feel like leaving the party call a taxi, or a  trusted friend or family. Never get into a car with a drunk driver. It can be dangerous for both of you. Always wait with a friend in a lit up area, for your transport, if it is delayed.    Let your parents know of your whereabouts. Parents should trust their children, this will prevent their teenagers from telling lies.

Educating Teenagers

Parents should try to make time for their children, set a time schedule to have open discussions about dating, and about diseases like STD, being contracted when with several different partners, during intercourse.  Sex discussions are  very important.

How is STD caused? What is AIDS? About SEX, with different partners, Is it safe to have sex with more than one partner? How safe is it when using a condom? 

Avoiding teenage pregnancies.

How often are we told that a 17 year old is pregnant?

By talking to your teenage daughters  about life as a teenager,  this kind of issues can be resolved. Mothers should to try to be more open in conversation or discussions. To speak freely of sex education is of great importance, the curfew hour may not help much, to be intimate the hour is not accounted for, this can occur in seconds an intimate, act can be uncontrollable.   This can be a monument task to talk to your teenager , about the facts of life, but, now that it is all over the media, it should be slightly easier.  Talk of body sexual organs, the normalcy of feelings, the physical act of sex, the development of understanding,  when sex oriented, and how babies are made.  Sex ties to dating, and this can be for a short or a long term relationship. This allows your teenager, to be informed to be aware of the exploitation of sex abuse,  and when an individual is allowed sex with  consent or when sex is denied. 

How are your children eating?  Are your children eating healthy foods? 

Are they aware of eating disorders, like anorexia, bulimia, obesity?

Eating correctly can prevent eating disorders. Professional help,  is always available if there is a problem.

Can  teenagers differentiate between intimate relationships?

The gender differences in a person being gay, a lesbian, and same sex friendship. There is love in relationships of the same sex gender,  and the opposite sex. Topics like this should be discussed not to confuse teenagers,  and  to let them know that not every acquaintance or relationship is the same and to be educated by it.

At the ages from 13-19 are the most important part of a teenager’s life, they should be allowed to experience whatever possible and learn about themselves. Life is like a roller coaster ride, only a bit slower. The adolescent stage,  when teenager  feel the need  to be with others of the same age group, and to participate in sports, and  when teens look for their own interests.   Parents who are, sensitive and responsible have children that grow with assurance to feel safe, secure, and are able to form relationships with the opposite sex easily and trust easily too.

Values

This is a stage, when your teenager/s should be thinking of having goals to believe in something of a worthy future. To believe in one’s self.

Whats their choice of career?

How are they going to pay for their college fees?

Setting Goals

This subject  shouldn’t be overlooked. Teenagers have a new prospective on life.

Why should this subject be unexplored?

They have energy at this age, to achieve any goals possible, at times, teens lack the experience to set and think about their goals, some teenagers, in most  cases have too much to  focus on,  than to think about their achievements.

When given time,  teenagers can work on their achievements, no matter how big or small their goal is, it can be achieved. Modern teenagers face great challenges to achieve what they want out of life, and,  have endless choices,  by making steady progress in their needs any goal can be achieved. Once  teenagers reach the age of 18 they should be able to face responsibility.

Parents should raise  teenagers on their own mind power,  and not follow other parents in doing so. Don’t do what other parents imply to their teens, it is not always safe or good for you as  parents. Teenagers have a wide-open future,  and, lots of competition, so they acquire to be motivated by others close to them, to be encouraged to achieve whatever interests them the most. This allows teenagers to explore freely.

Helping teenagers to think of their own ideas to allow them to achieve their own goals if what a teenager strives for, and fails the attempt to achieve what is really desired, don’t let your teenager  be discouraged.  There are always other opportunities. Show your teenager positivity in future attempts of achievement.  To help a teenager to be focused on their achievements,  they got to look at what it is,  they really want out of life at this point. Teenagers  should explore what is in front of them, to emphasise on their talents and desires. Friends help each other to create new ideas, to be able to communicate,  and, guide those who are interested in setting goals.

Learning to be with new people, and the value of friendship is a teenagers’ desire. To be able to help others in need share alike, don’t be rude to other people. Serve your community, makes you a better person by doing something to improve lives of other  people like the homeless, help the blind, the deaf or the handicapped.

Trusting and knowing your child will make it easier on parents because it can be difficult to let your child free when you have spent your whole life caring,  and now it is time to let go. Believe in your child, only,  you the parent could know your child better than others do. Love your children equally,  but not differently, this weakens your child’s strength in thought and effects children in  both, childhood, and adulthood.

It should  be the same in trusting your children.  One can’t be over-protective when it comes to raising teenage children, life for teenagers are different.  There are more choices  to explore.

Achieving goals, is an exciting task for a teenager, this allows them to look forward, to be able to accomplish what they want. Their choice of university, career, to get that diploma, to work part-time during the summer holidays, to get their driver’s licence, and have driving privileges and goals can be achieved by motivation. Summer holidays are for teenagers, too,  it is an exciting time of the year, looking for fun, they want to find themselves. They can work on summer holidays to pay part of their college fees with the help of their parents, if planned that way.  If your child shows interest in further studying there should be no doubt about helping with  the payment.

Who are they?

What are they capable of?

Time of experiment, they want to be older and to belong in society, and to be in an age group they find interesting and enjoyable. The number of teens in the world is growing and will continue, parents should try to be good role models to their children. When it comes to making people happy, a teenager should realise that making the most important people happy in their lives, is the simple way of living.

Social Life

It is very important to have friends and communication.    You should  have someone to talk to, it makes you feel better. Meeting people at a church, at the library, at schools, at parties, are good public places to meet people, but don’t speak to strangers.  Meeting people through a friend is a good idea,too, now that the Internet,  is so widely used there are ways of communication.  It is not always safe to be friendly with people you barely know.   A Lesson in Life,  there should be two kinds of teachers in life. One who teaches how to make a living, and the other who teaches you how to live. Well, this is to let parents know,  that they should spend more time with their children.

Over the years lots has changed , teenagers, now, go out to drink, smoke, take drugs and sleep out as they find that to be their only pleasure. If, parents focused on their children, and try to discipline them from watching too much of television,  then a parent and child can have more time together to speak of what is important in life,  and the best way to show children how much you care is to spend quality time together.

Teenagers of different cultures behave differently, they are, raised in their own way, by religion and  rules.  Most changes in a  teenagers’ life affects teenagers in different ways. Teens need encouragement from their parents, families and friends, in order to be able to learn more about their future, achieving their goals, being positive, trustworthy, honest, and to be able to socialize, and to learn about the facts of life.

Judgement on Teenagers

Parents, shouldn’t pass judgements on their teenage children, no matter what the situation.   A child requires a certain amount of attention from the parent, comments from a parent should be graceful and considerate.  Don’t belittle your child in the presence of friends or in public, insults should be left alone, this only makes your child feel  stupid, and not worthy of you. Don’t make silly comments, children can be sensitive, and will be hurt, but, won’t show it to you, and will turn the other way.  When what your child learns is basically from the parent,   choose how you speak to your  child, this is a reflection from you.  They grow up with a low self-esteem, and, become isolated, unhappy, and, lonely.

Praises lift up your child’s spirits and a child this way feels positive. A teenager is entitled to their opinions, the willingness to take risks, and have learning experiences on their own.  Your child, requires nurturing more than being showed how to do attempt a task, this will allow space and the project is a learning process.

Children often are neglected when parents work, allow time for each other it is very important to know your child. If  teenagers choose to dress with their choice of clothing, don’t be insultiing about it, this is only for that period, a phase that we all have passed or still getting to know more about in this time.

A Troubled Teen

This happens when parents are divorced, anger, depression, sets in and teenagers become sad.

A problem is not seen until suicide is attempted, and, this can be a difficult issue. This is disguised, and not many parents can see it from the start.

Talk to a psychiatrist and keep ti confidential, don’t discuss with friends or neighbours, because some how it will be mentioned in public,  it is not easy to trust anyone on a subject like this, once in public,  your child is affected by gossip, and comments, and,  your child’s life, is not a secret anymore.

Signs of depression  in teenagers, you will notice the change in eating habits, and sleeping patterns are different, the  lack of participation in sports activities, consumption of drugs, and alcohol, even smoking becomes  a habit, unhappiness, and looking tired.  A withdrawal from friends and family, if this is the case don’t let your child be alone,  make your child feel good by showing love and affection, it will pass. Always tell your teen you love him/her, this is a good feeling for your child, and conversations about daily activities should be discussed too.

Suicide:  A description of suicide.                                

People get lonely and become vulnerable.  One of the biggest causes of suicide is loneliness, and relationship problems,  this can be between married couples, lovers, parents, children or colleagues.  Problems can arise because of financial issues, an illness, stress or depression, unemployment, violence in society, crime,  rape or molestation.  Another reason is that most children, no longer have a proper family life.  When teenagers are ignored by parents they feel lonely.  Growing up as teenagers, you,  need someone trustworthy to talk to.  Talk to someone,  in this way suicide can be prevented.  At this age all the changes occur.

Every year thousands of school,  growing youngsters consider suicide,  or try to take their own lives. 

Rejection,  when a person feels rejected by family or friends,  it is a difficult situation to deal  with. Being divorced,  affects the family tremendously, children are hurt,  and,  in most cases have no one to turn to.  A lonely and depressed person,  becomes tired of life, and stops smiling and doesn’t care for living anymore. Abuse of alcohol, drugs, neglect, weakness and fear becomes of a depressed person.  Try  go to support groups for help,  or telephone lifeline for help. It is always,  good to talk to somebody, make new friends, don’t despair. Some issues affect teenagers or people in different ways.

Is your Teen Lying?

It is not easy to know this,  but communication is important to work it out. Treat your teenager with respect, don’t yell, and try to be calm in situations.   Listening to your child, allows you to be a step ahead of the plans your child has.  Don’t tell your teenager ‘don’t do it’ this actually encourages the act.   It is up to your child to do what is expected, as this is only an experience.   Try not to be harsh in your tone, this will show dominance, and you don’t want to do that.   Engage in activities together as a  family, this shows a safe and happy family environment,  and you will notice that your teenager will be free to speak to you.   There shouldn’t be barriers for your child in discussing issues.

This will prevent your child from telling lies,  and, ideas are shared easily.  Trusting your teenager can be difficult, but you only learn from your own mistakes,  and, in time trust will be gained and you will move on from that incident.

Parents and teenagers require trust, love, health, communication, understanding, responsibility, respect, self-image, and, discipline, to make their lives acceptable.

Be Together

Many relationships don’t last because of no communication and bickering.

When in a relationship, one doesn’t realise, the effort made to have this special life together.  As a person in love, there are many important things in life, that needs to be taken into consideration.  The fact that you have a relationship, doesn’t necessarily mean, you have it all.  

Time, and effort, to be with your partner, and  to do normal stuff, go out together, make time for each other, don’t spend your valuable time out with friends, and neglect the relationship, especially, if you know,  that it is going good.  Make time for your friends, and enjoy what you have, show your partner, you are trustworthy, make an effort to be together, no matter what.

Go away together, on a  special celebration, don’t carry your cell phone, when you are together, keep business deals out of the way, when you are in a public place, be relaxed, enjoy the day,  and make your partner laugh about something, talk about good times ,and bad ones, understand each other, and communicate if there is a problem. To love and know your partner.

Try not to put pressure on each other about little issues. Allow yourselves to be free,  and,  loving. Be together, and you will feel that you can go a long way. If you love your partner, there can be no obstacle, in your way. Get to know your partner’s habits and connect equally.

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