Being Myself

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When I was a girl, I was influenced by movie portrayals of heroines with blond hair and villianesses being brunette.  I also saw that the girls with blond hair were the most popular in school.  I wished that I was blond and wanted to dye my hair but my parents would not do it.  Then, when I was old enough to make my own decisions the “Blond Bombshell” had gone out of style and the brunette was seen as being the complex, mysterious woman, so I never died my hair.

Most people I have met are not happy with their appearance.  They want to change their hair color, or do, they perm it if it is straight and straighten it if it is naturally curly.  They try to make themselves look taller, or shorter, they want to enhance or reduce their breasts and they are obsessed with weight.  If they are heavy, or think they are, they are constantly dieting.  If they are skinny, they try to build up muscle by working out at gyms.  Everyone seems to be trying to look different, better and younger.  (I did not mention the cosmetic treatments women go through and the money they spend on anti-aging products.)

Often we want to change our habits and personalities.  A look at the number of self-help books in bookstores and the library shows how much we want to remake our lives.  Even Christians are wand reading such books.  I was an avid self-halp book reader, but none of the advice that I was reading seemed to work for me and I couldn’t understand why.

Finally, God told me that He made me just the way He wanted me for the purpose He disgned for me.  I understood the meaning of Isaiah 29:16, 45:9, 64:8, Jerimiah 15:6 and Romans 9:21.  I had been insulting God by wanting to change my looks or personality.  I was either saying, “God, You made a mistake,” or “I don’t like how you made me so I’m going to make myself over.”  But, I never succeeded in doing that.  Just like the clay can’t change what the potter is making it into, or has made it into, neither can I change myself.  Any changes that have been made in my life did not come from my efforts, but from God’s redisigning me.  That is the only way I can truly be myself and be truly happy.


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