Step1 If you are spending time alone, what are you doing with it? Are you out drinking with friends, or just having some down time? Our marriages need both together and alone time, but our alone time shouldn’t lead us astray.
If you are out having a drink with guys or girls, don’t over indulge. Do talk about your life and confide in others. Don’t spend any time flirting or thinking about how things could be without your spouse. Instead, think about how much your has added positively to your life.
Step2 If you spend your alone time browsing the web, stay away from “adult” sites. For men, who are more stimulated visually, adult content can lead to inappropriate fantasies. Further, some wives find the notion of husbands looking at pornography insulting and demeaning. Besides, many adult sites are full of spyware and malicious trojans (no pun intended).
Step3 Respect Try to develop an attitude of gratitude. Very often spouses overlook the hard work of the other. Sometimes one spouse does considerably more than the other, and while it seems unfair, nobody said love was easy.
Consider, for example, without your spouse you wouldn’t have the children you do. While kids may drive you up the wall some times, they certainly bring you unimaginable joy. The love of a child goes a long way in forgetting minor snubs or slights.
Step4 Humility is not Demeaning Humility breeds gratitude. You build humility when times are the toughest. When you want to tell your spouse to get up off their a__ and do it themselves, but you get the requested item, that builds humility.
Actions of service, done out of love, demonstrate love. The receiver of the loving act, in turn, becomes more grateful to you. It doesn’t necessarily happen overnight, but it does happen.
Humility also helps put things in perspective. Perhaps your spouse is depressed. The extra acts of love and compassion could be just the thing to help bring stability and peace to them. Finally, acts of true humility serve as an example to others.
I have witnessed sudden death in my life and was greatly traumatized by its suddenness. Life is too short not to say “I love you,” or to bring home some small token of love.
Find time everyday to demonstrate love, so in case of the worst, you have told your spouse that you love them.