Casino Commercials Are Lies. Duhhh!! Here’s The True Story

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Written on 1-23-09

I know you have probably had to listen to the new casino commercials and thought that looks really fun. Lets go there.

Well I am here to tell you that you should think about going to the movies instead.

First off the commercials depict a very young beautiful crowed standing around the slot machines or card and dice tables. You see them win $5.00 and they jump straight in the air screaming with joy.

Well this is part truth but only to the retarded and the old old crowed which is always there.

There is nothing more miserable then sitting down next to one of these people who play the penny slots at 5 cents a spin. Every little win they scream yey I won.

Most of these folks sleep on a mattress with $100,000  stuffed into it and they wouldn’t help a needy person for the life of them.

You will also occasionally see on the news where this person froze to death because they refused to turn on the heat. There was found several thousands of dollars in their mattress.

The next thing you will encounter is the crippled who can walk but insist on blocking the isles with a wheel chair or a walking thing one step every 10 seconds. They can’t do this on the side of the isle. No, No. They have to do it right in the center where it blocks both directions from getting by. If you say excuse me they call you all kinds of names just because you wanted to get by.

Here’s another one that will drive you nuts. You will be playing a perfectly good machine and one of the professional witchcraft users will sit down next to you. All of a sudden they are wiping or tapping the screen on every spin and saying some weird chant.

And still another one is these old farts who do not smoke but insist on playing in the smoking area. Well fine by me. To each there own. But THEN guess what. You are having fun until they rudely ask you to put yours out. They start coughing and gaging and waving there hand back and forth in front of there face almost striking you every wave.

You try nicely to point out that They are in the Smoking area and can go over there in that section where no smoking is allowed. Bamm!!! Off the wall they jump down your throat coughing and waving again.

So now you have to either give in and leave your machine or do what I do. Take really deep breaths and blow it right in there face.

I have nearly had a fist-o-cuff with a ninety year old women and that was not a pretty sight. I really think she could have taken me if the guard hadn’t heard the commotion and showed up. After all she was a non-smoker and would have tired me out before to long.

You will also run into a few old folks that sit down near you, (and it doesn’t even have to be right next to you}, and they forgot to  un-ziptheir pants when peeing or change there adult diaper. It will gag you and give you dizzy spells. I think some of them do it on purpose so they can have all the machines in that row to themselves.

If you plan on eating there you had better be prepared to stand in a line for a city block for that 6.99 buffet. I mean if you like that sort of torture to save 2.00 compared to other buffet’s  in town then go for it.

The last thing I would like to mention is the driving to get there and or leave the place. Leave an hour earlier then you originally had planned.

These people who should have had there licenses revoked 30 years prior will drive 25 in a 40 mile an hour speed zone. You can not pass them because there is 20 more of their relatives doing the same thing in front of them.

So to sum it up, feel free to watch those commercials and believe them if you like too. If you are that stupid, then you probably think you’re going to win also. 

Yeah, Right

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