With each passing year, we see a rise in the divorce rate and its the same story in almost every country in the world. When a couple gets divorced, the most affected happens to be the children from the marriage. This article deals with the trauma they face when their parents separate.
The recent trends show that the divorce rates in every country, regardless of their cultural background, is continuously rising. Many couples get married and then in a matter of about a few years are in the courthouse asking for a divorce.
Many couples ask for a divorce after getting children. The reasons for divorce may be varied. It could be a feud, infidelity, incompatibility or other reasons. Often, couples do not think about the children and how the divorce could affect their child. Such decisions are often made in a very impulsive way and consultation is minimal here.
Many couple go on long and bitter legal battles with their partners in order to get their child’s custody. This fighting itself has a large impact on the child’s mind. But, unfortunately, the child’s parents are oblivious to what the child feels about everything going him/her. The parents cannot be blamed here though. The parents themselves are in the trauma of seperation that they forget about the feelings of their children.
But in the end, children are the worst affected by the divorce of their parents. The sad part is that very few people realizes and understands this. They are just concerned about which parent does the child go to. And then they are forgotten.
The child now has to live with a single parent. The child is completely deprived of the other parent. For a child to have a proper and healthy growth, he/she requires the love, affection and care of both the parents. This also is traumaic for both the parents and its hardest just after the divorce has taken place. One parent now has all the responsiblity for the child and the other parent is just oblivious.
The child at such a stage is incapable of making any decision for himself or herself. The child is forced to accept whatever the court and the chosen parent decide and cannot voice his/her opinion in this matter because the child is incapable of making such a major decision.
The child loses his/her self-confidence. Especially when he/she is prompted by a question of their estranged parent. Not only this, but the child misses the estranged parent and longs for him/her. The child somewhere feels incomplete and lost without the presence of both the parents. The very fact that the other parent is very much alive and well itself bothers the child a lot. Especially when the child sees his/her friends leading perfectly normal lives with happy families, the child gets even more depressed and sad.
To top all this, people start showing cheap sympathy towards the child. What the child needs is not sympathy, but true and genuine friendship and love. Cheap sympathy is only going to beat the child down. The child needs someone to replenish the love and affection and fill the void created by the seperated parent. The child needs someone to replace the seperated parent.
Even if the single parent of the child gets a new partner, it will take time for the child to accept the new partner which is indeed very hard. The child has lost all trust and faith in people and he/she finds trusting someone hard for the fear of being left again.
A case of divorce especially related with children should be reconsidered at all times. A child’s life is at stake here and the courts must keep that in mind at all times. As far as possible they must stop the divorce and not approve it unless the problem is very bad and seperation is inevitable or if it is understood that the child’s life is at risk if the couple remains married