Working mothers find it hard to juggle the demands of their job and their family. They feel guilty when they have to work overtime and come home late.
1.Am I happy with the present state of affairs at home and at work?
2.Am I aware of my needs at work and at home? Am I happy?
3.Am I aware of the needs of my husband? Are they being met adequately?
4.Am I aware of the needs of each of my children? Are they being met?
Juggling the demands of job and family is really difficult. You have to continually evaluate if your juggling act is adequate for everybody, including yourself. But remember: everybody needs to contribute something to make everybody else happy. It is not your sole responsibility. You can initiate a meeting to get a feedback from each member of the family. Talk to each other about needs that should be addressed.
And caring should not be just a one-way street. They have to know your needs as well. You need to care for yourself as well so that you can share yourself with your family.
There are many ways of having a sense of self, whether with a job or not, whether you’re a part-time or a full-timemom. Listen to your guilt; why do you have it? Are you neglecting something important? Can you delay something for a better good? Maybe avoid overtime for now or go part-time for a while?
Family should be a top priority — at the end of the day, our source ofhappiness rests a lot on how we cared for our spouse and our children. We need to respond to their needs so they will feel loved. We might think we are loving them with the things we give them, but are these what they really need?
Consider if the needs of your children are being met. If they are below 10 years old, the presence of at least one parent on a part-time, if not full-time, basis is needed. The formation and guidance of children by their parents is very important in the first 10 years. This can be done by spending time with them every day.
If your children are over 10, ask yourself: did you adequately attend to their needs when they were younger? Are there behavioral or academic problems that have taken place during this time?Your presence now might be able to do some repair work in the relationship. Ask your husband if he thinks the children need for more guidance and coaching.
With teens, you may need to attend parenting workshops or read the literature. Reconnecting with them may take longer than connecting with younger children.
Finally, think about your financial goals. What lifestyle do you and your husband want? Can this lifestyle allow you to still have healthy and happy relationships, or will it keep you at work to earn money to sustain it?
For parents, raising children is the most fulfilling aspect of their lives. So make sure you and your husband do not deny yourselves the chance of building a family. Material needs and career options can be recreated later. Usually the first 15 to 20 years of marriage can be demanding — for you, your spouse, and your needs. Focus on relationships. It does not cost much to be happy. But it costs a lot, really a lot of emotional pain when problems with spouse and/or children surface due to one’s career