Do let me inform you that this is one of the subjects that I know very very little about before I go any further- I am neither a woman and nor do I spend my time worrying about getting old. Oh no, I’m merely a sufferer. I’m one of those very very very many people who have been forced to spend too much time watching ‘much much older’ women making absolute fools of themselves by trying to pretend that they are still young. (The best time to observe this king of thing happening would be at family parties.) Middle age crisis is just like some kind of slow killing disease that’s quite impossible to detect at first. The first hints of what is to come are of the most subtle variety and involves something like you walking into your aunts living room to be greeted by someone who is wearing cucumber, Dahl and saffron (And all at the same time, mind you) on her face. This kind of behavior is only the beginning. Advanced cases may resort to even worse tricks such as caking on make up, lying about their age and strapping themselves into tighter and tighter dresses that seem to be quite obsene. You are sure to have seen that kind of individual out there in the course of your day to day life…an ageing model who thinks that no one will notice that her make up is just a little too thick, an actress who still wants the ‘daughter’ parts, a middle age crisis hit wife who wants to hang on just a little longer- you get the idea.
The behavioral patterns of this type of ladies are quite easy to pick out. They are the kind of people who take simply hours and hours to dress up, they are the people who just refuse to stop dancing even after the party winds down and the DJ has long departed and these are also the same kind of people who simply insist on trying to out dress the younger ones as much as they can. Yes, I’m sorry to say that I know their type very well indeed- these are the kind of ladies who go around thinking that they’ve fooled the world while everyone else goes around thinking that they’re fooling no one.
Stop. Yes, it’s as simple as that. Stop thinking that you can beat it, stop thinking that you’re fooling anyone and stop thinking that you have a right to spoil everyone else’s fun at whatever party it is that you go to. Do stop to smell the roses. Look at us men- if we can go around with bald pates and beer bellies and still think that we are the most handsome creatures even when we are well past forty hell, why on earth can’t you?