Choices. Along with genes and neurochemicals, environmental factors, such as how we were toilet trained, have a lot to do with who we are. Science is constantly grappling with our makeup, physical, emotional and mental. The debate over what is fixed and what is changeable continues, and probably always will. Now and then another gene will be found, which supposedly determines something about us.
But there remains a lot about us that, under the right conditions, driven by enough desire, and with concerned guidance, can be changed. Many human conditions have been changed, or at least improved, for the better. Often, all that we need is some unforeseen event in our life which will blast us off our unsatisfying ways and make us realize that change is possible. Suddenly losing a long held job or a loved one, will force you to make changes that were long overdue.
Most amenable to is the person who values learning, change and growth, who wants to find better ways to live. Change takes place more as an act of will than as an act of being able. You must be willing to attempt and experiment, and that requires commitment.
Those who attempt to remake their lives need the courage to look deep within, shift their focus from the outer world, what everybody else says they “should” want, and trust their belief in what works for them.
Associating with like minded people who want to share the same challenge will give you a sense of accountability, of being “in the same boat”. Almost like having an audience, and having to perform.
People often tell themselves negative things about their prospects for changing, or for doing anything. Yes, you can learn to make changes, If you reframe your thinking with an “I can do this” message.