John ;- “ Effort should be made only when it’s worth it.”
Jinny ;- “We’ll never know unless we try !’
The opinions could also be vice-versa but rarely the same.
‘Attitude is the key to a peaceful beginning of any relationships. Especially between those couples, who want to stay on and make it work.’.
Couples need to seriously keep it simple, I finally figured that out the hard way.
Ego comes from all things complex in the human mind. I’m not good enough to speak about it. But if I understand it correctly, having an incorrect idea about oneself or not letting a positive change occur in our lives due to pre conceived ideas or obstinacy in the attitude, is called a negative ego or ego in general, as we perceive it and needs to be tucked away in our old memories.
P.s. By ego, I meant only the negativity that affects the normal working of a relationship. Otherwise, I understand we need ego indeed in moderate quantities!
How’s the monster related to this topic? We’ll discuss it in a while.
But first, let me explain why talking about ‘space’ is crucial in the matters of the heart.
I’ve reasons to believe that, there is a very slim distinction between allowing someone their space or independence and ‘leaving them alone’. Either ways, it means ‘No Interruptions with support’.
Togetherness is also meant to keep things simple, comfortable and practical between each other. This is when SPACE appears into the couple-picture.
Stepping into each other’s space or ‘own zone’, (the word ‘space’ is a lot less complicated) is meant to be on our ignore-list for as long as we can. But who’d want to do that? We are in a fast paced world today and meaningful occupations are aplenty! The goals that are to be achieved are our very own. The desire to follow our own dreams is even more significant now that, we have another identity to share them with.
Keeping it real should be the aim to make it last.
In fact, ‘apart from everything else, love is meant to allow us to be ‘our own selves’ despite the togetherness ‘.
When a couple makes it together under the same roof, a drastic change occurs in their lifestyles, even before they know it. The shift is intended to be without any hassle for both though. Moreover, this is a willingly agreed upon arrangement. Any complaint about miscommunication is absurd. Being able to fathom the unspoken truths should come naturally when love is concerned. Isn’t it?
But things don’t always turn out the way we plan or wish to, with our partners.
Sometimes, knowingly or not, we end up trespassing into the other’s ‘own- zone’, as I mentioned it before. Issues arise when ego and ignorance hinders the solution. A discussion is necessary when gestures go unnoticed. We must make an effort to answer the ‘how-where-what-why’ about not being able to vent out our discretions freely.
Times will help heal our hurt but it’s important to face the truth.
Insecurity, jealousy, mis-conceptions and an idle mind will lead people to cling on to the other more than required and result in emotional dependency.
The idea is to let go. With time, respect, faith, effort and ingenuity, starved emotional cravings for support and attention may turn into a loving attachment for each other that neither would be able to deny in course of time . Only then, ‘my space’ will be possible in harmony.