The importance of keeping your individuality when you are married

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Marriage is a life changing time in people’s lives, especially for couples who are living together for the first time. Keeping your individuality is essential to ensure a successful marriage. Just because you married someone doesn’t mean that they have to be your entire life, and it doesn’t meant that they are the only person in your life.

The reason your partner married you is for who you are, and changing simply because you’re married won’t do any good to you or your marriage. When you live with someone it’s easy to end up doing everything together, because it’s so convenient. Doing everything as a couple, however, can have many drawbacks, especially over time. Everyone needs to have some time alone and maintain a life outside their marriage, or they will inevitably start to feel smothered by their partner.

In a marriage, one or even both partners sometimes give up so much of their identity, often in order to please their partner, not because their partner asked it of them, but because they simply want to be available for their partner. This leads some people to change their routines and habits, and eventually end up losing themselves and their identity. Clinginess, however, will only smother your partner and make them feel an excessive need to be alone in order to breathe, which will eventually lead to distance in a marriage. Furthermore, relying too much on one person puts pressure on them, and they will eventually disappoint, as no one is without flaws.

Doing things individually, and keeping your independence is the best way to keep your marriage healthy. By constantly being together it’s harder to appreciate the other person, however, if you regularly do things as individuals, then when you come home to your spouse you will appreciate them, because you will be familiar with what it’s like without them.

Even couples who are very alike still have some interests which may differ from their partners, and the last thing they should do is disregard those interests. In the long run, doing so could lead a person to resent their partner.

It’s great to get out of the house and have common interests that you engage in such as dancing, hiking, playing sports or whatever it is that you have in common with your spouse. However, if you like cooking for example, and you enjoyed going to cooking classes before being married, don’t give it up now simply because your partner isn’t interested. You had friends before being married and doing things with them is a great way to bond and stay in contact, while at the same time keeping your individuality.

It’s easy for people to give to others, but most often they forget to take some time for themselves. People are still individuals even after becoming husbands and wives, or mothers and fathers, and holding on to this individuality is what will help ensure a marriage is successful and fulfilling.


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