How To Make Apple Cider Chicken

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Your ingredients are:

*  Two medium sweet potatoes cut into two inch pieces.
*  Two medium baking potatoes cut into two inch pieces.
*  One acorn squash cut into one inch pieces.
*  One small chicken with butter and spices.
*  thermometer
*  One large onion
*  apple cider
*  An oven warmed to 450 then reduced to 375.
*  Baking pan with a rack

1. Start your journey towards Apple Cider Chicken by cutting up two medium sweet potatoes cut into two inch pieces. Two medium baking potatoes cut into two inch pieces. One acorn squash cut into one inch pieces. Place all of these in a roasting pan about two inches deep.  Roasted vegetables and chicken always bring back comforting memories of fall, warmth and strength around me, plus the smell of sweet potatoes is awesome on a crisp day.

2.  Next is the actual chicken, mine is small because my family is small but someday it will be big and I will say one large chicken. But for now, one small chicken.  Bathed, as we should all be; buttered, salt and peppered(which I don’t suggest trying on yourself). Careful with the salt because after this moment of peace you don’t want to be concerned about your need for new clothes.  Place a rack in pan on top of the veggies, put your chicken on the rack.

3.  At this point you may notice you have put WAY too much butter on your chicken when it slips off the pan and on to the floor. (If this happens don’t feel guilty about your love of butter, just repeat the previous step especially the bathing part.) Sprinkle with your favorite spices, this time I figured Chinese Five Spice(which is anise, cinnamon, star anise, cloves, ginger and other stuff. It is like mulled cider and licorice.), oregano, garlic, bay leaves(2 one for each breast like pasties, stop laughing). I cut one large white onion in half and stuck about 4 cloves into each side and placed them in the cavity of the bird. Then I pour a cup of apple cider and fill a syringe type of baster and randomly assault this perfectly innocent chicken.

4.   I heated my oven to 450 to start with because I have NO patience when I am hungry . I place my now dizzy, apple cidered chicken on the middle rack of my oven. I baked it at this temperature for 35 minutes, but keep an eye on it, when it starts to brown turn it to 375 until you smell yummy smells coming from that side of your house. Check with a thermometer until the thickest part of your chicken is above 165 degrees.

5.   Once our chicken is finished take him or her out and place somewhere to rest before cutting. This is prime time for those who like to steal pieces(dogs, small children, husbands) prepare camera for footage of theft to later support your defense at your trial for manslaughter. Slice chicken, place veggies on plate and enjoy!

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