With the passage of time, more and more men are without great male role models. In any case, many of us have found it difficult to figure out the dating game. And it is a game.
I was 27 years old with no girlfriend and a lot of prospects, but I did not know what to do with my prospects. I had dated one girl for about a year, as “friends”. She said she wanted to take it slow, so, being a “nice” guy I respected her request. How stupid I was. At the end of the year she told me she was “with someone else”. My heart was broken. Two years later she got married. So much for moving slowly.
After she dumped me, I got up the courage and asked another girl to go out with me sometime. She told me that I didn’t want to date her because she had too much baggage. I gave up for a while but I went to meetings just to meet her. Later I asked her to meet me somewhere and she was a no show. My heart was broken, again.
That was all the action I had for two years. I was a real loser in this department.
Then, I got a good job and moved to a new place. I thought a change in scenery would help my success rate and I got to know a real nice girl, but again we became friends and when I asked her out she started ignoring me. My heart was broken.
I decided it was time to do something about this problem. It obviously wasn’t natural for me. I had to learn the rules of the game.
I found some information online. Some of the most helpful was stuff by David DeAngelo and Dr. Paul. You should really look them up if you want to improve your game. I learned that a woman does not choose to be attracted to you and you have to act a certain way to get their attention. Namely, you have to be confident and funny. You need to focus on what you are doing and not what she is doing. You need to be in the moment not thinking about what might happen.
There are some keys that helped me.
Key #1 – Have a mission.
Women love a man on a mission (not a mission not to mess up). Figure out your priorities in life, set goals, and plan activities to reach your goals. Find your mission in life. If you have a strong sense of your mission in life you are very attractive. If you can’t find your mission in life, make one up until you do, but you must have some kind of mission to tell her about.
Key #2 – Be Confident.
Confidence is the biggest attraction getter. If you know you are the best she will think so too. Don’t fake confidence have it. Fake confidence (arrogance) is a big turn off. If you don’t have confidence, I really suggest you get some information from David DeAngelo. He gives tons of info about how to build your confidence in dating and meeting people.
Key #3 – Be unique (know and be yourself).
You have to stand out. Basically just be yourself, and you will stand out. Every person is different and a woman can tell if you are faking anything. So get to know yourself, and be that. It is the best thing you could ever be.
Key #4 – Don’t be a nice guy.
Be mean. Be funny. Be tough. Tease her. Bother her. But do not be nice to her. Of course, I am not totally serious with those, but take the point. You must not come across as her friend. Avoid it at all costs. One great idea is to treat her like an annoying little kid. Maybe your little sister. I got really good at teasing girls, and they really liked it. And don’t give in when they tell you to stop keep teasing them. Really don’t be mean, but have a good time. Relax. But Don’t be nice
Key #5 – Be a leader.
This kind of overlaps with being confident and having a mission. WOMEN DO NOT WANT TO LEAD. Even a strong woman wants a leader. Be that for them. A leader is has a mission, is decisive, knows what he wants, and is confident at going after what he wants. He does not ask what the follower wants but leads. The follower follows. Be the leader.
Again be natural. Don’t be mean to her, be a good leader.
Key #6 – Two steps forward one back.
This is a big one. It is especially regarding the physical aspects. Move forward then take away. She will miss you or your touch, then move forward again. It is good even to make her reestablish contact.
Key #7 – If she shows interest in you kiss her.
This was a big one for me. I was always reluctant to move up to the kiss. Just do it. Forget the outcome, if she gets angry then don’t call her again (she might call you). Kiss the girl.
Once I had gone on a few dates I started to see a pattern. Talking. Laughing. Touching. Funny feeling. The funny feeling was telling me it was time to kiss her. So when that funny feeling comes, look into her eyes, then down to her lips and lean forward and she will probably meet you with a kiss. If not have some good line to tease her with. Make sure you stay confident, it isn’t you it is her that is losing out.
Key #8 – Be unpredictable.
Never let her know what you are going to do next. On the first “date” don’t go to a restaurant or a movie. That is predictable and boring. Plus, it makes her think that you are on a date and want a relationship. The first date go to a coffee shop and talk for half an hour then have something to do that makes you leave early. Or take her somewhere fun, an arcade, or somewhere outside. Just talk for awhile then go to your next appointment.
Key #9 – Practice.
The best way to learn how to date is to practice. Make a date with as many women as possible. Going on a date does not mean you have a relationship with a girl. Go on three or four dates a week. At first, go out with anyone that you can, just to practice. It is really the best thing you can do. Do not get stuck on one girl at a time. That takes too long. I fell for three girls in three years and became friends with them all, but I never had a real relationship. There are so many great women. Don’t get stuck on one. If it doesn’t work out move to your next date. No problem.
Key #10 – Copy James Bond
Watch the James Bond movies again, but this time pay special attention to how he relates to the women. It is magical. Then do what he does.
These keys gave me success. Once I started learning these secrets, I was suddenly attractive to great numbers of women, and I could get dates with them. December 2007 I learned these. January 2008, I had 3-6 dates a week with many different girls. February 2008 I decided to go exclusive with one of the girls I dated. Now we are extremely happy together and she still digs me. Actually, I think she is more into me now. I kept learning.
I hope you to have similar success. You’ll have to work hard, but it is worth it.