Throughout history mankind has claimed the favor of the gods in his efforts to wage war against his fellow man. Alexander the Great must have brought Zeus to help him against Isis, and Ba’al, or Ishtar or whatever god a people would rally in war. The Vikings called upon Thor and Odin in their wars, and the Romans called upon Mars and Jupiter to help them. In the Anni Domini we have had Jesus to call upon in our battles. Ever since Constantine the Great used Christianity to win battles, people have one way or another called upon Jesus to favor them in war or politics. In World War I, both sides claimed that God was on their side, but how can that be? Is Jesus a Conservative or Liberal? Both sides of politics have claimed that Jesus has been supporting their side so what is the truth of it? If Jesus were to run for President of the USA, on which side of politics would he run? Well possibly, this may be determined if we look closely at Jesus the man, because Jesus the Divine wouldn’t be running on any platform, since he is the beginning and the end of it all. But for the sake of argument let us just examine what the Gospels tell us about his socio-political stances.
Jesus was born the son of a carpenter, so that would make him and his father blue-collar workers and possibly unionists, no less, who would be on the Left side of politics one would imagine, but not necessarily. Jesus would have worked as a carpenter also, and would have belonged to the relevant guilds, the unions of their day. In addition Jesus was a good organizer of his people. He sent out his followers two by two to spread his word, giving them instructions, and wouldn’t that make him like a union organizer, so consequently wouldn’t he be a Liberal Socialist. And Jesus provided food for the 5,000 and for the 3,000 and surely this is Socialism at its best, feeding the people when they are hungry, giving them what they need.
Speaking of carpenters though, most carpenters work for themselves, meaning that they own their own businesses. Hang on that makes Him a boss, and bosses aren’t members of unions, so Jesus must be a Conservative. We see Jesus in the Temple discussing the Law and Prophets in Hebrew, and those with him were amazed at his knowledge. Most of the people of the time spoke Aramaic and only the educated spoke Hebrew. From this we can assume that Jesus was well educated of course, because of his oratory skills he was probably a member of Toastmasters, or the 1st century equivalent, well if Jesus was too young at that time, maybe Joseph was a member and his foster son learned from him. Jesus grew up to often speak publicly and teach and heal those who came to hear him.
He provided healing whenever he was approached by sick, lame people. This is one of the main tenets of Liberal Governments, that is, of establishing national all-inclusive Medicare systems, and Jesus didn’t charge a fee as such, he merely asked them to go to the Temple and offer the customary sacrifices. This is like when a celebrity appears on a game show and donates their winnings to a favorite charity. Or he prescribed treatments such as going to the pool of Siloam and washing. At times he even had the medicine on hand in his own dispensary and he just spat in the dirt and made medicinal mud. So Jesus the benevolent healer and soup kitchen provider gave freely to the starving masses, making him a Liberal, who could organize his resources.
The first organizing Jesus did in his ministry was to select and organize his Apostles. This is akin to a Human Resources Manager hiring his staff and setting up his workforce. Managers are in the upper echelons of the business world and of course cannot belong to trade unions so therefore he’d be a Conservative. In Jesus’ conversation with the Samaritan woman at the well he clearly drew the demarcation lines between the Jews and Gentiles, so surely this puts him on the Right because he insisted that Salvation is from the Jews, an age-old precept. Jesus was a Law and Order man, he told his associates not to think he had come to destroy the law and prophets, so he was actually reinforcing the old ways, the Laws of Moses and this clearly makes him a Conservative. Jesus flogged the money changers and merchants in the Temple and the Scripture described it as Zeal for the House of his Father. A synonym for zealot can be fundamentalist, and ergo Conservative in outlook.
A zealot can be a zealot for the Liberal cause as well. Didn’t Jesus say that if someone strikes you on your right cheek, offer him also the left. Surely this is what the Liberal Socialist Governments of France and Spain did in the face of attacks from Islamic fundamentalists. So instead of striking them back and hard, these Socialist countries chose to turn the other cheek, as it were, and withdraw. Jesus taught us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us, and this is exactly what the Liberal media and politicians want to do by having dialogue with terrorist supporting nations. And what about the Inter-Faith dialogue with Imams and the Pope. Surely this then proves that Jesus is indeed a Liberal.
Jesus was well schooled in the Torah, and just as liberal lawyers today try to reinterpret the Constitution to get social reforms, Satan tried to reinterpret the law to lead Jesus astray. Jesus however, being a well-educated Conservative knew his Law and when Satan quoted Torah at him he simply disproved him with an overriding precept from that same Law. When the man filled with a legion of evil spirits confronted him he cast them out into the herd of pigs and then sent them careening over the cliff. If he had been a Liberal then Animal Rights groups and tree-huggers would have been in his pocket and prevented him from harming the pigs, especially they would say, since the pigs belonged to some innocent farmer trying to feed his family.
Judas, the Apostle who betrayed him wanted to crown him king of the Jews and then have him lead a war of liberation against Rome. Peter also reacted violently and slashed the guard’s ear off with his dagger. In both cases Jesus was the Pacifist in that he replaced the guards ear and when Caiaphas asked him if he were a king, he said yes, but not in this world. Jesus could easily have ridden the wave of popularity and claimed leadership but he chose not to, instead he allowed himself to be crucified. Democrats might think here that this is the ultimate Socialist thing to do, to give oneself for the people. Republicans might also have a similar claim to this act in that it was Jesus patriotism that enabled him to sacrifice himself for his people. The conclusion that can be drawn here then is that Jesus exhibits traits that both sides of politics claim as their own. Fortunately, with Jesus there will be absolutes, in fact he himself said, “Simply let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’, and your ‘no’, ‘no’, anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” (Matthew 5:37)