They commonly refer to this as empty nest syndrome. It often leaves women desperately seeking their true purpose in life. Do you think that it is a coincidence that this is a dangerous time for marriages? If you find yourself in this uncomfortable position maybe God is not to blame. Look around you, if your children are grown, and not living with you, what does that say? That says, job well done, give yourself a little pat on the back and thank God, because we both know he had a lot more to do with it than you. It also says, you now have time to spend elsewhere. I know at first it’s hard to figure out where. I think it”s just natural to want to rest, because you have most likely not had a day off in around twenty years. You don’t get weekends and holidays off from being a mom.
One of the pitfalls is to rest too long. When we do nothing for too long we tend to… not so much enjoy it, as get used to it. While resting it is so easy to feel just a little sorry for ourselves and miss our children even more. It is still important to stay active in our children’s lives, because no matter what they say, they do enjoy knowing that they still can’t get away with much, because mom still cares. I say this reluctantly because there are those who can take it to the extreme. Just remember every thing in moderation. And not too much trying to control them just an easy ear and honest concern. This can be tough because you may not always like what you hear. However, if you restrain yourself, they will tell you most of what is going on in their lives. So, when advice is needed if you know all with out judging they are more likely to come to you for the advice.
Also husbands are a source of out let for putting talents to use. This should the best time of a marriage, and yet it is a high risk time for divorce. Women’s thoughts tend to focus on all the horrible things that they put up with from their dirty rotten husband, just for the sake of the children. When maybe a more constructive thought would be about all the things they are free to do with their husbands now. You know, the same husband that they have spent the last 20 or so years with that already knows them, why break in another one? 9 out of 10 times they end up with the same guy with the same problems just a different name. If a little excitement is needed, a good way to keep the husband from straying is to spice up his life a little. Keep in mind that he is going through a difficult adjustment period as well. Get him out of his comfort zone, start going to the gym together, or take up golf. Plan small romantic getaways, it may be difficult at first to train yourselves to have fun but it can be done.
You can make a difference in your community as well. Churches are in constant need of volunteers, as a matter of fact a church’s ability to grow is usually tied directly to the willingness of it’s parishioners to lend their talents. Public libraries are in constant need of people to shelve books, greet, answer questions, and enter books in to the computer when they are returned. Hospitals are full of people that have no one to visit them, and when in the hospital your basic needs are met but there is simply not enough staff for every need. You can’t imagine the difference it can make to a person in the hospital to have someone read a book to them or just hold a simple conversation.
I do not believe that God forgets us, just because we are no longer in the work place, nor have children to take care of. I think, that is when he expects the most from us. We have spent our lives gaining experience and abilities and now we can do the most with them. Those who have already caught hold of this idea and are running with it, I salute you. And now the rest of us are going to quit wasting our talents and join you.