Many people feel like they can`t handle their anger. They know that when they get upset or have a reaction to something, that it could have been better handled. Poor anger management skills can affect the way other people see you, how other people feel around you and how you feel about yourself. There are many reasons why learning healthy coping skills can improve your life.
When a child is angry, they are given instructions on what to do. For example; a teacher might say `count to ten`, stop and plan, or have a time out. The same skills can be applied to adults who are in need of some management techniques. Getting angry at three or thirty can have the same feelings associated with it; rise in blood pressure, flushed cheeks, pumping heart and a general feeling of anger. So it only makes sense that the same rules would apply.
There are plenty of situations that are going to occur in your lifetime, that are going to boil your blood. Take for example; the slow driver ahead of you, or the person who can`t see over the steering wheel who cuts you off, or it could be a sales person who makes a rude remark, a kid who scratches your car with a rock, a flooded washing machine…the list could goes on. It is important to remember that these things are to be expected in life and they happen.
When a certain situation arises like a flooded washing machine, you might have initial feelings that are expressed before you really think about them. You might blame someone else to make yourself feel better, or you might think about the money wasted on carpet or the fact that your machine might be broken; all of those initial thoughts might have you feeling like you want to explode with anger. The key is to break down your thoughts into smaller ones.
It is important to acknowledge that you have a valid reason for feeling angry. Try to break down your feelings so that they become a group of smaller ones, instead of one big huge bubble of anger. So in the washer machine situation, you could replace angry thoughts by thinking that you`re not going to raise your blood pressure over something that was out of your control. Blaming someone else doesn`t help matters, carpet can be replaced or cleaned out thoroughly, and the machine can be looked at and fixed. Try to think of things as being fixable.
When you`re angry with other people and you feel like it`s out of control, it`s important to find ways to express your feelings without hurting others. There are times when someone else is going to rattle your bones or your child might push all your buttons. Plan ahead on what you are going to do when those things happen. If an adult is making you mad you could walk away, take a break, vent to a friend before you react with them. If you`re angry at a child, you can walk away as well and try to cool down before you deal with the situation.
Often times just taking a break and a time out to think about feelings and emotions can help you figure them out without getting overly mad. If you know that your initial reaction to things is usually bad, then remove yourself right away so that you can deal with your first thoughts on your own. Getting mad is not good for your body, and it`s not healthy for other people to have to deal with you, especially children and loved ones.
You can have access to articles about self help in Portuguese language from page PoloMercantil