Assessing Peers in Terms of Personality Types

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Sometimes, our best friends and or family seem to know us like they could look into our souls and read our minds. So, it is comfortable being around them; we have a sort of dance if you will, that we do socially and mentally that requires very little effort on both our parts and this arrangement brings back huge rewards. There are times when we have strangers come in and out of our lives; be it friends, family members and partners, coworkers, or casual acquaintances. And when someone new is on the scene we all scramble to get a read on who this person is, how they fit in and what will this person will mean to my relationships. That is why it is hard when you are new to any group and you may feel as if everyone is looking you over, because that is what we humans do, we assess and process people very quickly to come up with data on how we feel about you, what type of personality you most likely have. 

I have always been puzzled by people’s expectations of each other. What I mean by that is that more often than not one person can “project” a need or desire onto another person without ever even realizing it or even understanding that this is what is happening. You can always tell when you are watching this projection take place when a true “extrovert” is encouraging their best buddy the “introvert” into Karaoke, or a big social event or some group event that is way out there. The lines they use are always “Oh, my God, you are just going to love this, so and so will be there and there will be lots of people and action . . .” and the other person’s eyes are as big as marbles! “Hmmm, they say, why again am I going to love this?” 

Do opposites attract? Should you choose someone with your exact personality type to be your travelling companion? How about your spouse; is this a good match? As far as family I think different personality types tend to have closer or far apart relationships and sometimes at different times in life. There are no hard and fast rules, no matter how many quizzes you take or how many personality assessments you fill out. As human beings we are complicated and as such it is difficult to put us into one type of personality range or the other for very long because we keep evolving and growing.


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