Creating a new relationship is not as difficult as maintaining and nurturing it. As time changes, so are people. Sometimes, he is kind, nice and very gentle person at the first time, but along with time, he change to be someone you don’t know.
People are not always aware when their relationship is change from healthy to abusive. In most cases, women are becoming victims, although there also cases showing that the man is the one who being abuse.
That is why we must keep our awareness, open up mind in every step of our relationship, and try to read signs, if this relationship headed in the wrong direction.
Abusive relationship can be characterized as extreme jealousy, emotional withholding, sexual coercion, verbal abuse, threat, lies, or even broken promises. Remember that abuse does not always mean physical violence. In fact, emotional abuse is more terrible, since it is not easy to recognize, and to recover from. It can create long term effect to the victims.
When they find their partner is abusive, most people think that they can change it. It is important to note that abusive relationship is progressive. It will get worse over time. So the best ways to stop it is cut it off, break up, or leave him or her. But, it is not always that easy. Abusive person is not easy to leave, since they are eager to keep the relationship, and usually they are using “love” reason for every abusive behavior they made.
There are some warning signs of abusive relationship. You may be in an abusive relationship if your partner:
Jealous of possessive towards you
Tries to control you, being very bossy or demanding
Tries to cut off your social contact
Violent or losing temper quickly
Pressure you sexually
Abuses drugs or alcohol
Claim you are responsible for his / her emotional state
Makes jokes that shame, humiliate, or embarrass you
Lie to you or cheats you often
Make vulgar comments about others in your presence
Sometimes, if we are involved in the abusive relationship, we are not aware about it. In other hand, people around us are aware about us. So please, keep listening to your friends and families who try to tell you about the person, and that they are concerned about you.
If you are having a relationship, and you find yourself crying a lot, being depressed and unhappy, much more that the time when you are happy, or you feel afraid to break up with them, that can be a signal to end up this kind of relationship.
All you need to do is courage yourself to end this mess. Here are some steps to help you
- Gather information and seek support about who can help you with your different needs. Get some help outside. Talk to your trusted friends and families.
- Create a safety plan and choose a place to go if needed.
- Just leave him/her. Cut off all of lines communication. Change you phone number, or email so he/she will not able to contact you.
- Put your life back together. You need to heal yourself. Learn to love yourself, and find what is best in you. Maybe you need sometimes alone to recover your mental.
- Remember that you still have a long life to live. Find new friends, and when the times go by, you will find a new relationship. Just make sure that this one is a healthy one.