I Hate the Sun

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     I have always hated the sun. Throughout my developmental years, my legally totalitarian parental units strictly enforced a habitual pattern of sleep that followed a pattern with the sun’s presence. In all of my years of living in this absurd world, I have never seen a forced friendship become anything but a rivalry. I oft wonder to myself if my parents knew that the sun took a particular pleasure in causing headaches in those with bluely pigmented irises. From what I undestand, the science to prove the sun’s dislike of blue-eyed men was not “in” yet, but in relation to dictator-like deities, is science of any consequence anyhow? 

    “We need thre suns luminescence!” you exclaim. But for what purpose? Plants need it for photosynthesis (scientifically termed see oh two in; oh two out). We all must suffer because plants are underdeveloped, worthless idiots. A plants brain is so outdated that it is untraceable. We don’t even know what these primitive minds look like, or where their souls are (although I hear that they lose 3 ounces of weight when they die). 

    If a man opts to sleep when the sun is around, he is considered to have sleep “problems”. The real problem is the fact that the plants haven’t undercut the need for the sun in order for us to disperse of it. Somehow, man always takes the blame for environmental problems, when the only things capable of dishing out blame are men themselves. When the atmosphere underwent changes, somehow it was “man’s fault”. Well let me set the books straight. Sun, you are the root of all evil and you indirectly make me look like a fool. I won’t have it anymore. The day of justice is coming…..

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